Arresting experience

Many moons ago, when choosing my main subjects at school in preparation for Highers (I was educated in Scotland) I chose art as one of my main subjects. Strange choice I know, and I failed miserably when it came to still life. But somewhere deep down there must be an appreciation of good design and use of colours.

Sometimes it comes out in a way that gives my wife concerns about who she's shackled to. There's a particular shop in St Ives that always has a georgeous window display... fine layout, rich colours well matched, stylish wares. The fact the shop is La Muse, a fine establishment for ladies seeking ball gowns and evening wear, is the source of Linda's worries. It's trendy for blokes to show their feminine side these days, but isn't a cute little number in satin pink going a bit too far?

And I definitely went too far a couple of weeks ago. Only trying to help Linda buy a cardigan to match some trousers. That meant trailing around each ladies clothes shop seeking just the right shade. And after what seems like aeons, with me fighting down the boredom factor, we wandered into The Earth Collection, a small shop with two watchful assistants in attendance who left us to our own devices.

After a few minutes of us both browsing the stock I'd had enough and wandered outside. At that point my wife heard one of the assistants say to the other 'That man's left now'. It dawned on her we'd entered the shop slightly apart and while there I'd browsed separately and we hadn't spoken to each other. It appeared to the assistants I was by myself... a man looking for suitable women's clothing... a transvestite!

Had I by coincidence been browsing the oversized section? Maybe I had my hand on hip at some point. Were they about to call the Police, with me suffering the ignomy of being dragged off to the call of 'Come on now flower, don't give us any trouble'? Whatever the reason for me suddenly achieving a somewhat more 'interesting' status, I'm sticking much closer to my wife from now on!

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