Awards 2010

The end of year brings an important and prestigious (sad) annual  event…

The 2010 McKinnie Cup awards ceremony

Held in a swanky establishment (my front room) with lavish catering (a bag of pork scratchings) and many famous celebrities (only me present, sons and daughters had better things to do) there were many fine speeches (‘I was robbed!’).

The main (only) awards were as follows…

POOL/DARTS winner David, score in months David 6, John 4, Dad 2

PITCH & PUTT winner Dad, score in games Dad 17, David 14, John 2

SQUASH winner David, I don’t believe this final score so I’ve asked for a recount

Been thinking about my New Year’s resolutions. To improve results I’m going to employ three simple strategies as follows…

1. Better preparation such as…
   • Returning to a fighting weight of 11st 7 lb; inactivity in the dark months has seen my weight creep up to 12st 2lbs, so it’s the running machine for me!
     
   • Thinking about my game more, watching the squash video before I play, keeping to basics at pitch & putt and staying off the apple wine before darts and pool.
     

2. Honing my cheating skills (note, these strategies are not necessarily in priority order… suspect this point should have been top) and thinking of new tactics to divert my opponents, such as…
   • Developing an affectation (e.g. eye twitch or snorting) and standing in my opponent’s eye line when they’re playing a shot
     
   • Using strategic whistling (drives my sons mad)
     
   • Sneakily rubbing the chalk of the cue tip before handing to my opponent
     
   • Moving a flight so that it falls out when the dart is next thrown
     
   • When desperate (which I often am) employing tactical trouser trumpeting, or when all else fails ‘accidently’ getting the scores confused
     

3. And finally, developing my grandchildren as game fodder by getting them into the junior squash club and starting them swinging a golf club

Here’s some pictures of highlights from the 2010 season (click to enlarge)…