Wicked whistler!

My wife said 10 little words to me the other day that have since caused me to ponder quite a bit. She said...

I've always known when you're up to something. You whistle.

Really? For 37 years of marriage every one of my secrets and faux pas has been known all along? How earth shattering are the implications of that!

And the thing is, I'm always whistling. Ask my sons, who are driven daft with my whistling and will often stop mid dart throw at our weekly games competiton and stare at my pursed lips. I thought it was because, being a really positive person, I'm pretty much happy all the time and my whistling is an indication of that. Just didn't realise I'm down right wicked and up to something every minute of the day!

In my judgement there's hardly any situation which won't benefit from a quick tune up of the lips. Trying to attract the attention of a vacant shop assistant? Try 'Help, I need somebody...'. Or if you just want some peace and quiet, try 'Leave me alone'.

This startling revelation has got me doing some serious thinking. Every time my lips quiver on the edge of a good toot I suddenly start analysing what I'm doing to see if there's any malice in it. Have I already performed the errant act or is it all about intent? Is it just what I'm thinking at the time? Maybe there's something in the tune I'm about to whistle? Am I giving away any clue in that? I'm having to be careful not to tune up on any of the following...

* I should have known better

* Oops! I did it again

* Mercy, mercy, mercy

And I find myself seriously considering occasional tactical counter-whistling. Kind of constructing a make up tune when I know I'm innocent. Trouble is, I'm not used to being blameless so how do I judge that?

All in all it's a bit of a puzzle. But not all negative... although my son John denies it, he's saddled not only with the same name but also a tendency to whistle. Wonder what he's been up to?

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