Allotment Heaven

My first novel... week 2

2012-01-29T08:58:00.001Z

How on earth did I think I was ever going to complete this book by Spring? Must have been mad!

You'll gather that progress has been rather pedantic. Now squeezed 3,754 words in total out on 'paper'. That's all of twelve pages... I've not even completed a decent chapter's worth yet after two weeks!

I've gone at it in my usual optimistic way, hoping, believing, praying that like the parting of the red sea, other things will make way to make more time for writing. And of course they won't unless I give something else up.

Here's a selection of candidates...

Upating my 'One Moment Each Day' blog each morning.

Updating my online to do list each morning so I can carry it around on my mobile.

Generally faffing around with one-off things like booking accomodation for the Scone Palace Rewind Festival, chasing up the plumber for our downstairs loo, checking who's visited this blog, etc etc.

Messing about on the allotment... something that's going to take up more time as Spring approaches.

Going on long country walks.

Finding more long country walks for summer by trawling the library, searching maps and trying out on the ground.

Secretarial stuff for the Allotment Association... I've got to write most of the Winter newsletter's contents in the next few days ~;0(

Reading rather than writing... just got into using the library's online facility to put a hold on books, so I'm working my way through great books I haven't yet read.

And of course I'm adding to the problem by getting interested in eBay trading, aiming to make a bit of money to assuage the guilt whenever I spend more money on the latest gadget. Its not we can't afford it, just I'm the only one who ever seems to do the spending and the lusting is now for an iPhone, with an iMac following closely behind.

On the penultimate point, I've just taken delivery of the last John Steinbeck books I've yet to read, several John Updike novels and Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. With masterpieces clamouring to be read I've come to the realisation if it's going to take a year that's fine. No use rushing it.

And that may help a bit... the background theme is the 2012 London Olympics and I've been getting a bit nervous about using this and publishing before the opening ceremony at the end of July. The London Olympic marketing machine is a bit fierce in protecting their brand, even telling retailers and charities to be careful not just about using obvious words like 'Olympic' and 'London' in any promotions, but even '2012'! So if I publish after the games there shouldn't be a problem.

Besides hammering out an extra 2,300 words (quite an increase on last week's effort you may note) what's happened this week? Well, the good news is I'm still enjoying it. Bit like working out a puzzle. I've also mocked up the structure of what I think are the fifteen chapters, where each of the four main characters appear, where other characters pop up, how the chapters interweave. Of course had to spend time on a flow chart for this.

Estimated each chapter needs to be at least fifteen pages long on average, but at present I'm only getting them to about five pages. So I'll have to go back when the first draft is completed to fill in all the nitty gritty detail that will make the whole thing more alive. Great example of this in the book I'm currently reading, Solar by Ian McEwan... like all his books, a masterclass on how to write fascinating, compelling detail.

With talent like that, what chance do I stand? I dunno... but I'm still up there giving it a go!

My first novel... week 1

2012-01-22T08:59:00.001Z

Well, like some knackered old nag with more hope than expectation I'm off the starting block book-wise. My first novel is in creation mode. Got the general theme worked out with a background to give it some pace and current relevance. Introduced one of the main characters in the completed draft of the first chapter and I'm now into the second chapter.

Found the experience really enjoyable so far, 'so far' being all of one week. Relatively easy to get the words down and ideas keep popping up in between writing on how to improve what's already down or how to start the next part.

What I am finding a challenge is making sure the tense is right. Keep slipping into writing as though it's happening now when I'm giving background information. Also find things get a bit of of order and have to be reworked, though I suppose it's good to get everything out first and then fine tune.

So I've written almost 1,400 words. Sounds good until you realised that's all of about 4 pages. Only another 78,600 words to go! At this rate it'll take me more than a year. That's not necessarily a problem since even great authors took several years to come up with each masterpiece. And that's doing it full time! I'm trying to fit it in between fiddling around with other things. Hmmm... yes, maybe you're right, some of those thing don't need to be fiddle with right now. I know if I don't get it done before Spring it'll be a struggle. Who wants to be indoors huddled over a keyboard when it's all sunshine and light outside? And the background theme I've hit upon means ideally I need to publish by Summer.

Ok, Ok... I'll be honest and say the first few hours were spent searching for an iPad app that did a word count and had a spell checker and I could have for free. All time wasted since I ended up back with the Quickoffice app I paid for when I first bought the iPad. Got a word count but no spelchekr so apologies for any typos. I'll just have to upload to Word on my laptop periodically and check content.

Anyway, the fingers are now tapping whenever I get the time... I'll just have to get more focused and use the couple of hours early morning to write rather than faffing around.

The idea is that when the masterpiece is completed I'll load it up as an eBook on Amazon for Kindle readers, of which there are more than a million. Can be done very easily and enables you to go direct to sale and get reader feedback without the agony of finding a publisher, as explained at Kindle self publishing.

I'll try and update progress weekly, if only to give me another incentive to get on with it!

Potato (solanum tuberosum)

2012-01-21T08:34:00.001Z

Why plant

Potatoes are easy to grow and it's very satisfying when you find that single spud turned into a bucketful. And if you've got ground that's hard to till a great option is to plant potatoes... they help break up the soil. If you've plenty of room to grow and store you can have your own year round supply. But if space is at a premium best to focus on new potatoes... they're the tastiest and most expensive in the shops.

Interesting uses

* Did you know potatoes are one of the main sources of vodka? Unfortunately it's not legal to distill spirits in the UK without a license, but you could try making potato wine.

* Rub the cut edge of a potato against a wart, the high content of potassium and vitamin C will promote healing.

* Use a raw potato to shine your shoes.

* Keep your spectacles from misting up by rubbing raw potato juice on them.

* Root a geranium by gouging a hole in a potato, push a geranium cutting into the potato and plant the whole thing in potting soil. Soon you'll have a new geranium.

* Remove stains on hands by just rubbing with a potato.

Origins

Potatoes were first found and cultivated by the Aymara Indians around 5,000 BC on the high plateau of the Andean Mountains of South America. They developed more than two hundred varieties, the potato becoming the mainstay of thier diet.

When the Spanish Conquistadors sacked Peru in the 13thC they quickly appreciated the benefits of potatoes and they were soon a standard supply item on Spanish ships. Sailors who ate potatoes did'nt suffer from scurvy because of the high vitamin C content. In spite of its attributes it would take another three decades before knowledge of the potato spread to the rest of Europe. Even then its reputation as a food for the underprivileged and it's relationship to poisonous plants, being poisonous itself at times, meant there was resistance to it's general acceptance.

The potato finally achieved greater recognition in the 17thC when the Prussian Ruler Frederick the Great ordered the German people to eat potatoes as a deterrent to famine. But it only gained real popularity when adopted by the Irish in the 18thC.

Health benefits

Unfortunately the healthy aspects of a potato are very often hidden beneath the grease and salt associated with chips or french fries, or other fats or sauces such as butter, mayonnaise, cheese or tomato sauce. Such treatment can make even baked potatoes a potential contributor to a heart attack, whereas in it's unadorned state a baked potato is an exceptionally healthy low calorie high fibre food that offers significant protection against cardiovascular disease and cancer.

Potatoes as a good source of vitamin B6, vitamin C, copper, potassium, manganese, and dietary fibre. They also contain a variety of phytonutrients that have antioxidant activity. Among these important health-promoting compounds are carotenoids, flavonoids, and caffeic acid, as well as unique tuber storage proteins such as patatin, which exhibit activity against free radicals.

Varieties

With about 450 varieties grown in the UK there's plenty of choice. Here are a few varieties...

* Maris Bard a soft waxy new potato suitable for boiling or chips

* Rocket another new potato, firm and waxy, suitable for boiling

* Estima a second early potato that's one of the most popular, makes a great jacket potato

* Nadine is another second early that turns into wonderful mashed potato

* Desiree a lovely red skinned maincrop potato that's a great all rounder

* King Edward surely one of the best known spuds, a maincrop all rounder as well

It's too long a list to do justice here to all the varieties you can choose from. To do a bit more exploring and get full information on varieties go to the Potato Council website.

Planting

There are three defined growing periods for potatoes as shown below.


TYPE	PLANT	HARVEST

New or Early	Jan-Mar	May-Jul

Second Earlies	Feb-May	Jul-Oct

Maincrop	Mar-May	Sep-Oct

If you want to get your potatoes off to an early start and you've got the room, buy about six weeks before planting and 'chit' them. This means allowing shoots to grow from the end where there are most buds or eyes. It's particulary beneficial to chit early potatoes. Set out the tubers with the bud end pointing upwards in egg trays or shallow boxes with an inch of dry peat in the base. Place the boxes in a cool, light (not sunny) and frost-free room. The aim is to grow sturdy shoots about one inch in length, so make sure there's not too much warmth or the shoots will be too spindly.

When ready to plant, dig a V-shaped drill about 5 inches (13cm) deep in a prepared seed bed that gets plenty of sun. If the soil is reasonably light you can make a hole with a dibber and carefully drop the potato in. For early varieties the potatoes should be planted every 12 inches (30cm) with the drills 24 inches (60cm) apart. For maincrop varieties plant every 15 inches (38cm) with drills 30 inches (75cm) apart. Cover with a handful of peat or fine soil to protect the shoots.

Aftercare

As soon as shoots appear above ground draw the earth from the sides of your rows over the plants. Keep doing this so you end up with about 6 inches (15cm) of earth drawn up along each drill. This prevents light getting to the tubers and turning them green. Green potatoes can give you an upset stomach.

Your potatoes will benefit from some feeding. Good results can be had from using liquid comfrey fertiliser because the liquid is immediately available.

In dry weather keep them well watered.

Harvesting

See the table above for when to lift your potatoes. About two weeks before cut any growth off at ground level so the potato skins toughen up, making them less prone to damage.

Place a fork deeply in the side of the drill, far enough out from the centre to avoid spearing any potatoes, and lift each plant. Try and pick a dry sunny day for harvesting. Leave the potatoes on the surface for a few hours to harden the skin and help them store better. Do try to get even tiny potatoes out or the following year they'll grow in the middle of whatever new vegetables you plant in that spot.

Hessian sacks are best for storing, you can buy these from many seed suppliers. Paper sacks are a good substitute. Don't use plastic bags since these trap moisture. Exclude light or the potatoes will turn green. Remove any that are damaged or diseased before storing and make sure no slugs get stored as well.

Ideally store at about 5°C, for example in a cool dark shed or garage. Make sure frost doesn't get to the stored potatoes. Check the spuds regularly... any ammonia or putrid smell indicates rot. If you experience this empty the sack to get the offending tubers out. Any that have been contaminated with moisture can be washed and used immediately.

Recipes

'Proper' roast potatoes

Potatoes dauphinoise

Bonfire night baked potatoes

Boulangere potatoes

Spanish potatoes

Common problems

Potatoes are generally trouble free if you give them a good start and water when necessary. For guidance on common problems click here

Bargain Hunt reject

2012-01-17T18:40:00.001Z

After several weeks of hanging by the 'phone, guess I'm not going to get that call from BBC Bargain Hunt... the one that was my pathway to stardom. Having sent in an application last March, having received a call before Christmas and having gone through a telephone interview, I'm having to cope with the rejection of not being invited to the familiarisation session a couple of weekends ago.

Although counselling appears to be the modern way to cope with rejection, my Scots blood dictates a do it yourself approach to save brass. So I've sought advice on how to deal with rejection on t'internet. Fat lot of good it's done. Here's a summary of the best advice I could find... and my somewhat jaundiced response.

Don't take it personally

That's right. They must have made a mistake and thought I was someone else. Or maybe not.

Focus on your strengths

Clearly not spotting antiques.

Ask yourself questions

Why me? Or rather, why not me?

Accept reality

Unless a camera crew appears round the corner in the next 30 seconds, I've not really got much choice.

Keep it in perspective

I WAS REJECTED! How's that?

Accept responsibility, don't blame others

So it's supposed to make me feel a whole lot better saying it was my fault?

You're not alone

Sitting here, the penny having finally dropped... I am!

Don't want anyone to get the impression I'm bitter, but I may suddenly have gone off the programme. Now, how do I apply to get on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Comfrey fertiliser

2012-01-11T08:34:00.001Z

Here's another natural fertiliser that's easy to make. You may have been cursing the comfrey for its vigour as you hacked it down once again, but quite apart from its usefulness it’s also a very attractive plant to have growing around your plot that attracts bees. If you're interested in producing natural fertilisers you may also find the post on nettle fertiliser of use.

Comfrey is a perennial herb with a black turnip-like root and large hairy broad leaves and produces small bell-shaped white, cream, light purple or pink flowers that attracts bees. It’s native to Europe and widespread throughout Ireland and Britain, growing in damp grassy places. Comfrey has long been recognised by both organic gardeners and herbalists for its great usefulness and versatility.

If your plant produces purple flowers then you have the “Bocking 14” cultivar of Russian Comfrey (Symphytum x uplandicum). This strain was developed during the 1950s and will not set seed, an advantage over other types since it won’t spread out of control. This variety is propagated from root cuttings.

If you’re developing your own comfrey bed don’t harvest leaves in the first season and remove any flowering stems so the plant focuses its energy on establishing itself. Mature plants can be harvested up to four or five times a year and are ready for cutting when about 2 feet high from mid Spring through to mid Autumn. Comfrey will rapidly grow again and be ready for further cutting about 5 weeks later. It’s best to cut shortly before flowering; this is when the plant is at its most potent for nutrients.

Harvest by using shears to cut to about 2 inches above the ground. Take care when handling and consider wearing gloves since the leaves and stems are covered in hairs that can irritate the skin. Stop leaf cutting after Autumn to allow plants to build up winter reserves. The leaves will die back and break down in winter and nutrients and minerals are transported back to the roots for use the following spring.

Comfrey is an excellent source of potassium, an essential plant nutrient needed for flower, seed and fruit production. Its leaves contain 2-3 times more potassium than farmyard manure.

There are various ways in which comfrey can be utilised as a fertiliser, these include:

Compost activator

Include in the compost heap to add nitrogen and help to heat the heap. Comfrey should not be added in quantity as it will quickly break down into a dark sludgy liquid that needs to be balanced with more fibrous, carbon rich material.

Liquid fertilizer

Weigh down a handful of leaves in a bucket of water, cover and leave to rot down for 4–5 weeks to produce a ready to use comfrey fertiliser. Alternatively put several bunches of leaves in a refuse bin and fill with water.

Mulch

A two inch layer of comfrey leaves placed around a crop will slowly break down and release plant nutrients; it’s especially useful for crops that need extra potassium, such as fruit bearers, but also does well for potatoes. Avoid using flowering stems as these can root.

Roger and Val Have Just Got In

2012-01-06T20:02:00.001Z

Immensely happy to see the BBC comedy series Roger and Val Have Just Got In is having a rerun on BBC2. Depicting the first half hour after they both get home from work, if you want a gentle comedy of a middle aged couple's struggle with life and their own loving relationship you couldn't do better. Dawn French and Alfred Molina are in their element. It's in the same mold as that other classic BBC comedy last run in 2009, Early Doors, both relying on microscopic behavioural comedy. Don't miss it... next episode BBC HD Thursday 12-Jan at 22:00.

First time round I loved it but couldn't quite understand why no one else in our family did. This time wife Linda is warming to it...because we're recognising all too closely ourselves in what's going on. Here are the themes for the next couple of episodes. To read full details of all six episodes click here.

EPISODE 2: Val comes home to find Roger in an agitated state. She's left that evening's meal, a pack of fish fingers and some frozen peas, in his plant fridge in the conservatory. Thus begins a chain of rows, each one seemingly all about fish fingers. Despite various attempts by both parties to smooth things over there's a certain amount of tension in the air. It transpires that Roger is in a foul mood not because of the fish fingers, but because there are two new water voles at work who don't get on, and staff have named them after Roger and his boss Phil.

EPISODE 3: Val arrives home with the freshly laundered dining room curtains and hears that Roger has had yet another clash with Phil, his non-plant-loving boss. The dining room has just been decorated and Roger and Val must summon up the energy to put the curtains back up - will they manage to do so?

Recycled Santa

2011-12-25T22:53:00.000Z

It's a bit of a family tradition for me to belt round to the grandchildren on Christmas eve with small presents. In the early years they thought it was the real Santa paying them a special visit, but that didn't last too long. Just couldn't disguise myself or the voice well enough. So now the Dummy Santa pays a visit.

In my glory days I had a proper audience... used to do a gig for the local playschool. That didn't always go too smoothly, as you can read at Santa's desperate sprint to safety. With the passage of time the outfit is starting to look a bit moth eaten, but I've decided I'm going to stick with it. It'll add more fun if I turn up each year looking a bit worse than the previous visit.

This year saw a new variation on the theme. The family spent the afternoon at The Dolphin, part of which involved me and Barry seeing how far we could get through the alphabetically arranged single malt whiskys. So no chance of using the car, and going on foot was out since a half way stop for a cup of tea on the way home meant I was short of time. The sausages would be eager to get to bed and let the real Santa work his magic! It was time for a new innovation... the cycling Santa!

So St Ives was treated to the spectacle of a rather bedraggled (no time to put a crease in the trousers) and somewhat inebriated Father Christmas on a traditional sit up and beg Pashley bike pedalling for all he was worth. Quite a few comments along the way, particularly as customers outside The Haywain were treated to a flash of red hurtling by. And quite a few puzzled looks from children. You can just imagine the conversation...

Child: 'Why is Santa on a bike?'
Parent: 'His sledge must have broken down.'
Child: 'How's he going to deliver all the presents on time then?'
Parent: 'He'll just pedal really quickly.'
Child: 'He doesn't look like he could pedal quickly. He's wobbling all over the place.'
Parent: 'He can go a lot faster than that'
Child: 'He must be trying too hard now, he's just fallen off.'

The trip was completed successfully, and I fully expect it to become a feature of every St Ives Christmas Eve. For next year I'm thinking of introducing a papier mache reindeer head on the front of the bike. Well, you've got to make an effort to keep things fresh, haven't you? Nothing less will do than crowds of well wishers blocking the pathways, being pushed back by Police, to encourage me along the way.

Merry Christmas to all Allotment Heaven readers, and thanks for sticking with the posts in 2011.

All aboard the Orient Express!

2011-12-12T22:19:00.000Z

Here's a photo record of our wonderful day aboard the Orient Express with Christmas lunch, my 60th birthday present from family both in St Ives and Scotland.

The Northern Belle Orient Express arrives at Peterborough on time!

Beth sees us off from the platform.

All nicely laid out for Christmas lunch. Wonder what's on the menu?

Here it is... looks like we're in for a treat.

The surroundings are rather sumptious, the seat sooooooooo comfortable.

First we head across The Fens at a leisurely pace.

With champagne served (red wine for me).

We glide past Ely within sight of the cathedral.

Whenever we go through a station we get lots of envious looks. Even this sparrowhawk had a good stare... maybe he knew what was for main course.

First course... juniper marinated salmon accompanied by a cucumber jelly.

Some musical entertainment before the next course...

... which is spice parsnip soup served with a toasted cumin creme fraiche.

Then the main course... breast of Lincolnshire partidge on a roulade of goose, cranberries and chestnuts accompanied by a chateau potato, sprout puree and a pomegranate jus.

After views of many pretty villages we glide past the Olympic Park in the East End of London.

Past Arsenal's football stadium.

There were a few unscheduled stops.

A view of the Alexandra Palace, cruising away from North London.

More entertainment from a magician. He put his pen through a £20 note of mine and removed it again without a trace of damage, right in front of my eyes... still haven't a clue how he did it!

Oops! Enjoying myself so much, forgot to snap the cheese and biscuits. Here's the sweet that followed... chocolate marquise on a kendal mint chocolate biscuit and an orange comfit and kumquat. A mouthful in more ways than one.

As evening fell we headed back across the fens to Peterborough.

To be met at Huntingdon station by smiling faces... Beth and Connor come to chauffeur us home at the end of a wonderful day.

Guides & other stuff

2011-12-08T08:14:00.001Z

Here's a list of useful things I've built up over the years. Hope some are of use.

If you're looking for something and find it isn't listed leave me a comment or use the 'Contact me' tab and it might prompt me to do something about it.

The following are documents to download...

Allotment crop nutrition guide

Companion planting guide

Vegetable planting calendar

Here are some detailed posts on specific plant topics, including interesting uses, origins, health benefits, varieties, how to grow, common problems and some delicious recipes...


Asparagus	Beetroot	Figs

Garlic	Leeks	Onions

Pumpkins	Squashes	Tomatoes

Some other useful guides...


Beehive compost bin plan	Comfrey fertiliser

Fruit cage plan	Keeping chickens... 10 top tips

Nettle fertiliser	Polytunnel plan

Rat proof chicken feeder

The Living Years

2011-12-01T06:32:00.000Z

Today is my dad's birthday. Happy birthday dad!

It's the first time in my life I haven't been able to wish him a happy birthday. He passed away on Friday 08-July this year. You can read just a few things that made my dad special at the post on my dad

I've shed a few tears now and then thinking about dad. Listening to the song 'The Living Years' by Mike & the Mechanics makes me feel really sad. It's always been a favourite of mine... a classic song delivered well with thought provoking words. I've shown the lyrics below and you can view a video of a live performance by clicking here.

The message? Pretty obvious, and put best in the final words of the book 'A Month in the Country' by J. L. Carr...

We can ask and ask but we can’t have again what once seemed ours for ever ... a remembered voice, a loved face. They’ve gone and you can only wait for the pain to pass.

So live for the moment. Smile often, laugh often. Enjoy life. Think the best of people. And cherish those strongest of bonds, those of your dear, dear family.

Mike & the Mechanics, The Living Years

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late when we die

To admit we don't see eye to eye

Arresting experience

2011-11-24T08:50:00.001Z

Many moons ago, when choosing my main subjects at school in preparation for Highers (I was educated in Scotland) I chose art as one of my main subjects. Strange choice I know, and I failed miserably when it came to still life. But somewhere deep down there must be an appreciation of good design and use of colours.

Sometimes it comes out in a way that gives my wife concerns about who she's shackled to. There's a particular shop in St Ives that always has a georgeous window display... fine layout, rich colours well matched, stylish wares. The fact the shop is La Muse, a fine establishment for ladies seeking ball gowns and evening wear, is the source of Linda's worries. It's trendy for blokes to show their feminine side these days, but isn't a cute little number in satin pink going a bit too far?

And I definitely went too far a couple of weeks ago. Only trying to help Linda buy a cardigan to match some trousers. That meant trailing around each ladies clothes shop seeking just the right shade. And after what seems like aeons, with me fighting down the boredom factor, we wandered into The Earth Collection, a small shop with two watchful assistants in attendance who left us to our own devices.

After a few minutes of us both browsing the stock I'd had enough and wandered outside. At that point my wife heard one of the assistants say to the other 'That man's left now'. It dawned on her we'd entered the shop slightly apart and while there I'd browsed separately and we hadn't spoken to each other. It appeared to the assistants I was by myself... a man looking for suitable women's clothing... a transvestite!

Had I by coincidence been browsing the oversized section? Maybe I had my hand on hip at some point. Were they about to call the Police, with me suffering the ignomy of being dragged off to the call of 'Come on now flower, don't give us any trouble'? Whatever the reason for me suddenly achieving a somewhat more 'interesting' status, I'm sticking much closer to my wife from now on!

The mystery of the missing manure

2011-11-18T08:15:00.005Z

I know it's a bit sad, but there's nothing more exciting to me than feeling the temperature of my compost pile when it's really cooking... steam rises and it really does get hot as all those microbes do their work. And what really warms things up is a good dose of manure mixed in with all the kitchen waste, bunny and chicken poo, cardboard, grass clippings and other vegetable waste from the allotment.

Unfortunately I've not been able to get my hands on any manure for ages. Used to get some lovely stuff for free from a local stables, filling compost bags and transporting it back and forth in my previous car, furiously wiping the windows because of the steam rising from each bag. It was a real slog, taking up a whole afternoon. The arrival of a new smaller Fiat a couple of years ago put a stop to that. In the very earliest of my allotment days I did get a delivery of manure from the groundsman, and did ask about two years ago if he'd do another delivery. He said yes, but it's been a long time coming!

So you can maybe understand my excitement when I got a call from the groundsman yesterday about noon. 'I've just dumped a pile of muck outside your plot' he said. 'That's fantastic! How much do I owe you for that?' '£20, any time will do.'

Told Linda the exciting news. 'I'd better get up there quickly,' said I, 'it'll be blocking the access road and you know what they're like up there... anything that looks unattached disappears pretty quickly'. Never a truer word spoken!

Thirty minutes later there I was happily hurrying towards the allotments. The sun was shining, birds singing and some two hundred yards away from my plot I was hoping the pile of manure was soooooooo huge I might be able to see it. Nope, nothing visible, but there were a few bends in the way, be reasonable!

Coming the other way were Will and Doreen, the couple who tend the allotment plot just opposite and to one side of mine, on their way home wheeling a wheel barrow. We met at the gates and exchanged pleasantries. Their faces took on a strange hue when I excitedly informed them I'd got an early Christmas present waiting for me... a pile of manure. 'There must be some mistake,' Will stuttered 'we asked the groundsman about three weeks ago if he could deliver us some manure.' He then explained the groundsman had said any delivery would arrive on a Tuesday or Wednesday (this was Thursday!) and for some reason the groundsman got mixed up with plots and dumped it outside my plot rather than theirs. Realising my pile of gold might have been filched from under my very nose I tried to be positive and said maybe the groundsman had dumped another pile for me against my second, back plot.

Of course there was no second pile, just a big brown mark on the access road grass where my manure had been as shown above, and several piles of lovely manure on Will's plot where he'd wheelbarrowed the stuff from outside my plot onto his!

A quick call to the groundsman established the manure was meant for me. Met Will on my way back to the car (there was no point hanging around and I was back off to do some decorating as I originally planned). He'd also called the groundsman and now realised what he'd done. Doreen was mortified and had sent him back to apologised. I explained I'd been waiting two years for that delivery... although Will had been promised a delivery only three weeks ago, on the timescales the groundsman works to he only had another 24 months to wait.

All ended on a happy note... the groundsman said he had a spare trailer for this morning and would deliver another pile of manure for me. I'll be on the plot all expectant later this morning. Goodness knows what I'm going to do if nothing arrives and I'm into another long wait. Just couldn't stand the view of all that lovely stuff meant for me just sitting on Will's plot!

Update: As can be seen in the images below, all ended on a very happy if somewhat smelly and steamy note. Got a call early morning to say another delivery made. Flew up to find a huge pile of pretty fresh cow manure.

Initially thought I'd stick it all in one of my compost bins and wasted time emptying and spreading the current contents. Pretty soon realised I had far too much for that and ended up temporarily moving much of it to any spare space I could find in front of the shed since I was under severe time constraints. There's also a load in the compost bin and some in the wheelbarrow. Must be about two year's supply!

Vegetables to plant in November

2011-11-13T08:59:00.001Z

Nights are drawing in, temperatures falling... it's easy to think there's nothing to raise at this time of year. Think again! Here's a list of vegetables well worth planting in November.

Garlic

Although you can plant some types of garlic as late as early Spring, now is the best time. A good dose of frost encourages the bulbs to split into cloves. I always love planting garlic cloves in Autumn... helps me dream of long hot July days when the crop will be harvested.

To read up fully about how to plant garlic, the history, health benefits and common problems as well as some delicious recipes go to Allotment Heaven: Garlic (allium sativum).

Onions & shallots

Last chance to get onion or shallot sets in before Winter falls. My favourites are Japanese Sensyhu onions... hardy and easy to raise. You'll find planting instructions for onions as well as a full background and recipes at Allotment Heaven: Onions (allium cepa).

Broad Beans

You can sow broad beans from February to May, so why bother in November? Well, it's all about extending the cropping season. If you rely just on Spring sowings you'll be typically harvesting in July and August. With an Autumn sowing you'll also be cropping in June.

Peas

Same principle as for Broad Beans... extend the growing season by planting now.

Checkout challenge

2011-11-03T20:55:00.001Z

How did I find myself with all the enthusiasm of a condemmed man entering the local supermarket complete with Roy Cropper shopping bag as displayed here? Of course I blame my brother Robert, something I've been doing ever since there was someone else in the family younger than me to shuffle responsibility onto. And since that's all of nearly 60 years it's a wonder he's still speaking to me.

But speak to me he does, and it was over tea at his house on Monday we got onto the shopping habits of the brothers McKinnie. Youngest brother Andy meticulously goes through all the locals rags to cut out supermarket discount vouchers and then motors around the various shops to get the best bargains. Robert took over his household shopping a year or so ago when his working hours changed and he decided he could knock £30 a week off the shopping bill that resulted from Amanda's and Sophie's more creative shopping expeditions.

It was when we came on to my methodolgy that the trouble started. Linda and I have come to an amicable agreement which fulfils both our shopping desires... Linda to have the time to browse and weight up the bargains, me to get the whole painful exercise over as quickly as possible. I sit in bliss in the car reading a good book and listening to Radio 3 and give Linda twenty minutes to get near the checkout, then I breeze in to select a couple of my things (nice bread, wine) before proceeding to the checkout and then away. Sorted!

Robert wasn't happy with this. It defied belief and brought out in him a sense of outrage. How could I do that? Was it not my duty to assist Linda in the executive decision making over tins of beans? How did Linda feel about this? Did she not long for me to accompany her down the aisle of toilet rolls, (as though in a mock recreation of our marriage)?

Ignoring Linda's firm 'NO!', Robert challenged me on the next available occasion to do the shopping and report back. I had to do my own list and complete the excercise with the minimum of assistance.

So I dragged myself through the doors yesterday at 11:55. Immediately assaulted by the very loud music playing over the speaker system. As usual some female pouring her heart out about how she'd been wronged, all summed up in about four words repeated above what sounded like a pneumatic drill rock band. If they played classical music I might hang around for a while... since the supermarket clientele at that time of day look like a coach party from the local old folks home softer music might be much more appropriate. I have hung around the manager tempted to complain a few times, but I've realised it's Co-op Radio they play and the 16 year old who makes up the playlist thinks Beethoven is a film star in the form of a slobbering St Bernard dog.

First job is to consult the list, shown below. Yes, it's in my handwriting. No, I didn't construct it myself... the helpful explanatory notes from Linda make that pretty obvious. And I'd still have been wandering around 24 hours later looking for things if the list wasn't in order of aisle presentation. And yes, it is amazing how I managed to keep my handwriting under control as the list grew, in spite of my increasing sense of despondency and panic.

First selection, apples. Now, I'm all for choice. Choice is good. It's what free market capitalism is all about. But is it really necessary to have 110 different brands of identical looking (and no doubt tasting) apples? And then to smudge up the price differentials by putting special offers on the more expensive varieties so it's really difficult to decide which is the best offer? Here's a small selection of what was on offer.

The next selection was grapes. I not only had to check they looked OK, but also had to open the bag to check they smelled right. Trouble was, there were no grapes at about £1.40... all priced about twice as much. Decided I could just about exist for another week without grapes.

Two items into the list and I'd decided I was never going to make a success of this. Really hard to appy logic to any selections, and now a different young lady was screaming her lungs out over the speakers telling all how she felt about her ex-boyfriend, all in words of one syllable. Terminally bored. Time to just grab and run.

So the rest of the list was completed within 15 minutes, including asking Linda where to find tinned mandarin oranges and a packet of Calgol tablets. Linda was there? Yes, of course she was. She went off to browse the Christmas aisle (in early November... don't get me started on that!) and no doubt keep an eye on me. Oh, and to get a packet of grapes on offer at the target price I'd completely missed.

Linda bolstered my confidence by informing me, since we'd been away and were part way into the standard week, this was only a third of the normal shop. As shown below, looked suspiciously like a full car boot load to me! Will I be repeating the exercise again? For both our sanity, NO!

PS... to date, one day after, we've found I got the wrong tinned tomatoes. More errors will no doubt be revealed.

Sloe gin or vodka easy recipe

2011-10-24T22:13:00.001+01:00

Autumn is the perfect time to make sloe gin or vodka. Hedgerows are full of ripe, juicy sloes and the delicious fruity liqueur will be ready in time for Christmas. So why not give it a go? It's so easy to make and you certainly won't regret it when, feet up in front of the fire with the wind and snow howling outside, you treat yourself to a warming tipple.

Equipment needed

2 litre preserving bottle such as show here

Weighing scales

Ingredients needed

1 litre bottle of gin or vodka (no need to buy an expensive brand!)

450 grams of sloes

250 grams of white sugar, whose purpose is not only to sweeten the liqueur but to also extract the maxium amount of juice from the sloes.

Method

1. A few days before you're ready to start put the sloes in a plastic bag and place them in a freezer. This will break the skins.

2. Let the sloes defrost before using.

3. Put the sloes, sugar and gin or vodka into the preserving bottle and seal.

4. Give the contents a thorough shake.

5. Shake the bottle every other day for a month.

6. Shake once a week for the second month.

7. When you're ready to drink (see below) strain clear the liquid into the 1 litre sterilised gin or vodka bottle.

8. Add more sugar if necessary according to preference.

9. The liqueur can be drunk from the third month onward, though will improve with age.

The left over sloes can be used to make jam.

Wicked whistler!

2011-10-19T08:39:00.001+01:00

My wife said 10 little words to me the other day that have since caused me to ponder quite a bit. She said...

I've always known when you're up to something. You whistle.

Really? For 37 years of marriage every one of my secrets and faux pas has been known all along? How earth shattering are the implications of that!

And the thing is, I'm always whistling. Ask my sons, who are driven daft with my whistling and will often stop mid dart throw at our weekly games competiton and stare at my pursed lips. I thought it was because, being a really positive person, I'm pretty much happy all the time and my whistling is an indication of that. Just didn't realise I'm down right wicked and up to something every minute of the day!

In my judgement there's hardly any situation which won't benefit from a quick tune up of the lips. Trying to attract the attention of a vacant shop assistant? Try 'Help, I need somebody...'. Or if you just want some peace and quiet, try 'Leave me alone'.

This startling revelation has got me doing some serious thinking. Every time my lips quiver on the edge of a good toot I suddenly start analysing what I'm doing to see if there's any malice in it. Have I already performed the errant act or is it all about intent? Is it just what I'm thinking at the time? Maybe there's something in the tune I'm about to whistle? Am I giving away any clue in that? I'm having to be careful not to tune up on any of the following...

* I should have known better

* Oops! I did it again

* Mercy, mercy, mercy

And I find myself seriously considering occasional tactical counter-whistling. Kind of constructing a make up tune when I know I'm innocent. Trouble is, I'm not used to being blameless so how do I judge that?

All in all it's a bit of a puzzle. But not all negative... although my son John denies it, he's saddled not only with the same name but also a tendency to whistle. Wonder what he's been up to?

Allotment or Garden Christmas Presents

2011-10-15T08:16:00.001+01:00

Wondering what present to buy your favourite vegetable, flower or herb grower? Here are a few stylish value for money options.

Any suggestions for additions are welcome. Just add a comment at the bottom of the page and I'll update the list.

Note the price shown below does not include postage charge. This is shown on the seller's web site where applicable.

Books

		Allotment Vegetable Garden Planner: Track your triumphs and endeavours with over 70 pages for recording planting essentials such as sources of seeds, varieties, planting & harvesting times. Three sections for vegetables, fruits and herbs, all with their own record pages along with advice and plenty of growing tips. Includes pages for planting scheme plans, 24 plant name tags to identify seedlings and young plants plus a slider-grip bag to store seed packets. Price £7.00 from Amazon.

		Shed Chic: Sheds need no longer be neglected outbuildings or decorative afterthoughts. They are equally successful as spaces in which to indulge creative pursuits or to make a well-considered home-from-home away from the outside world. Shed chic is all about making space. The photographs are excellent and there are hundreds of them so you are bound to find inspiration here for your own shed. Beautifully written, even if you haven't got a shed this book will help you dream of your own. Price £14.21 from Amazon.

Storage

		Garden Work Tray: Heavy duty green plastic with handy storage containers & large potting area, meaning everything's close at hand. Useful for greenhouse or anywhere for potting. The tray is easily portable & lightweight, size: 59 x 60 x 16.4cm high. Supply your own tools. Price £5.99 from The Emporium.

		Tool Bag & Stool: Sturdy and practical, not only provides pockets to pop your tools in but also allows you to sit down and rest. Note tools not included. Price £9.00 from Countywide.

		Utility stool with tools: As an alternative this option comes in a smart gift carton. The detachable tool bag contains a range of tools with a basket underneath for waste or vegetables/fruit. Price £32.99 from StrawberryFool.

		Garden Apron: Another option for keeping tools handy whilst giving protection for messy jobs. Combined with a tool belt for keeping all the essentials in as well as a small compartment for a mobile phone, the extra strong apron has an adjustable neck & body straps to fit for comfort. Size 48 x 48 x 58cm. Price £8.65 from Amazon.

		Children's Gardening Bag & Tools: This sturdy canvas bag has 6 garden tools & a water sprayer for the little gardener. Tools made of strong metal with a solid wooden handle & all tuck neatly away in the canvas bag. Price £13.75 from The Childminding Shop.

Propagator

Self Watering Windowsill Propogator: A complete nursery for the windowsill featuring 7 mini vented propagators allowing the growth of a large number of plant varieties on just one unit. The heated base contains a 13 Watt carbon fibre element for even heat distribution. Not thermostatically controlled, but designed to increase the ambient compost temperature by around 8°C. Size 76 x 18.5 x 14.5cm. Price £14.99 from ebay.

Unusual watering cans

		Elephant Watering Can: Hand made in India, this unusual watering can holds approximately 2 litres but is lightweight, perfectly balanced and hand crafted from weather-resistant galvanised sheet metal. Price £18.49 from Greenfingers.

		Snail Watering Can: Or how about a slightly smaller alternative for the kids to use. Price £12.49 from Greenfingers.

Miscellaneous

		Beanstalk Magic Beans: Five beans with messages and pictures laser etched into each which continue to enlarge as the beans grow. Just plant the seed into the water beads (or soil) and less than two weeks later special messages grow with the plant. Different packs available. Price £3.00 from Not on the High Street.

		Firestick: For 'boys' who love to light fires in the Ray Mears fashion. Strike the blade down the firestick and a shower of sparks will start your camp fire in an instant. Price £8.50 from Not on the High Street.

		Help OXFAM Plant an Allotment: UK gardeners are discovering the joys of growing their own, but for many poor Third World women and men an allotment isn’t just a way of saving on the weekly shop... it's how they feed their families and earn a bit extra to buy other essentials. This gift will supply the tools, seeds and training to create working allotments that will produce a lot more. Cost £24.00 from OXFAM.

Bus pass blues

2011-10-10T08:54:00.001+01:00

I've been looking forward for ages to getting my bus pass. Visions of freedom as I travel far and wide free of charge, only interruptions being frequent and desperate dashes to the public loos at each major stop, have entertained me for months.

Already told the family that when my 60th birthday arrives at the end of this month I'm off for an initial foray to see how far I can get on my bus pass in a single day... did I hear my wife mutter 'Lands End with any luck!'

So this morning I thought I'd better start thinking about the application process. Don't want to miss out on a few days of bliss by sending in the paperwork late.

Wait a minute! What's this I read...

The Government has changed the age of eligibility

By 2020 everyone will need to be aged 65 to qualify

Residents who turn 60 on or after 6-Apr-2010 no longer eligible on their 60th birthday

Use this calculator to find out when you're eligible

So I did... and I'm not flippin' eligible until May 2013!!!!!!!Can't tell you how disappointed that makes me. Thieving bustards!

I've not given up hope and am examining the fine print to seek an exception with which I can wheedle my way into a pass. Maybe my mum actually produced me earlier and my birth date is wrong... wait a minute, that 1951 on my birth certificate could be read as 1915 in a certain light. Otherwise I feel a complaint email coming on!

In the meantime it's back to the normal mode of transport and a lot more time to dream about my first bus pass adventure. (Sob!)

Making a clay lined pond

2011-10-02T08:01:00.000+01:00

There's very little surface water on our allotments in St Ives so what better than to have a pond on my plot, thought I almost a year ago. Hopefully loads of wildlife to observe while taking a rest with a cup of tea.

Thought a lot about the benefits of rigid v sheet pond lining before it hit me... whenever I dig a hole in the winter it quickly fills with water and stays filled. Could the heavy clay hereabouts have something to do with it? Could I make a clay lined pond? It would certainly fulfill one of my ongoing allotment criteria... something for nothing.

So this post is all about my pond experience. If you live in an area of moderate or significant clay as indicate by the map below you might want to consider a clay lined pond. My hole was dug in November 2010 and the assumption about clay was immediately confirmed... the flipping' thing was full of water before I'd finished and most of the work was completed up to my wellies in wet. Since then the development has been amazing. The mucky hole in the ground has transformed into a pond of clear water, home to a thriving community of plants and wildlife, always a source of interest while taking a rest.

Besides having a pond for free I was also able to stock it gratis... a call on allotment chums brought in pond plants, mud to 'seed' the water with bugs and a bucket full of frog spawn. Added to that I'd raised perennials from seed collected in my garden and transferred excess plants, so the pond and surrounds were soon bursting with new life as Spring arrived.

Unfortunately also collected some unwanted blanket weed which needs periodic cleaning out, so do be careful you don't accidentally introduce unwanted residents if you decide to instal your own pond. This invader came from one of the allotment water tanks. And you do need to carefully consider how you'll maintain the water level in your pond during summer. At its hottest I'm wheelbarrowing in over 40 gallons of water week... that's a weight of 28st (181kg). So you need a water source nearby.

Below you'll find links to more details on the plants and wildlife in my pond as well as a photo record of development taken at two week intervals. This post will be updated periodically to form a record of the pond for 2011. If you're thinking of having a go yourself and have a question leave me a comment or use the 'Contact me' tab above and I'll get back to you quickly.

Here's the map of England showing areas of clay concentration. If you want to see a map for a different area search Google for a map showing clay deposits.

Here's a list of what's in my pond (this doesn't include the wildflowers and other plants surrounding the pond)...


Dragonflies & larvae	Water boatmen

Pond skaters	Water beetles

Pond lice	Frogs
Water lilies	Marsh marigolds

Stink bugs	Curly water thyme & other oxygenating plants

Sedge	Flag & other types of irises

Damselflies	Soft rush

And here's a series of images showing how the pond has progressed from the beginning.

Nov-2010: The pond dug to it's deepest at 1 metre (wellie depth) and the sides coated in clay, the whole site is mud,mud, mud. Didn't need to worry about how I'd fill it with water... as I dug it filled!

Mid Jan-2011: Widened the pond to include more shallow edging and create a small island.

End Jan-2011: Not much change... still lots of clay earth surrounding the pond that needs clearing.

Mid Feb-2011: Now managed to clear the excess earth and have the pond surrounds gently sloping inwards. Loads of earth moved away to other parts of the allotment though... what am I going to do with it?

End Feb-2011: Not much change... waiting for Spring so can do some planting.

Mid Mar-2011: Now things are starting to happen! Moved quite a few plants from the garden and found a home for Becky's unused rockery... creating a dry stone wall near the pond with all the excess earth banked up behind it. A call for help from fellow allotmenteers also resulted in free pond lilies, irises and oxygenating plants as well as pond mud to 'seed' the water with bugs.

End Mar-2011: Added another shallow edging area on far side of pond. Dry stone wall now finished and turfed along top. Gifted a bucket of frog spawn.

Mid Apr-2011: Added logs against far side of pond with a damp shelf underneath for frogs etc to hibernate in Winter. Seeded in front of dry stone wall with wild flowers. Seeded grass area to left.

End Apr-2011: Tadpoles have hatched into water that's now much clearer. A stoney area added to the right. Plants starting to establish themselves.

Mid May-2011: Water now clear... but with warmer weather having to add water weekly.

End May-2011: More plants added, mainly perennials grown from seed collected in the garden.

Mid Jun-2011: First froglets appeared at last!

End Jun-2011: Planted up the bank behind the dry stone wall with herbs, the wild flowers in front are now well established. The bench is moved to the pond whenever we take a break for a cup of tea and a view of what's happening... the first pond lily flower has appeared! Water not very clear 'cause I've just finished adding more.

Mid Jul-2011: Everything now well established and the froglets are striking forth all over the plot. The globe artichokes I planted a month ago are growing quickly on the left.

End Jul-2011: Lots of things flowering now, loads of wildlife in the pond and around. Damselflies and dragonflies being attracted by the water.

Mid Sep-2011: Oops... where did I put the August photos? Here's the pond now well established and always the source of interesting happenings.

End Sep-2011: Noticed a new inhabitant of the pond... a sedge plant growing to the left. Two larger frogs also appeared from under the log pile, maybe getting ready to hibernate in spite of the 85F temperatures.

Allotment Heaven skies

2011-09-28T08:54:00.001+01:00

If you were an alien visiting Earth for the first time what aspect of our planet would you think most beautiful? My bet is the amazingly colourful and dramatic skies... particularly if you were lucky enough to land in East Anglia, where the flatness of the landscape means the skies are so vast.

So here are some images of skies above Allotment Heaven just to prove the point. More will be added whenever I snap anything dramatic enough.

One moment each day

2011-09-21T21:45:00.001+01:00

What did you do today that made it special? What will you remember about today in a week's time, next month, next year? And can you remember what was special about this day last year... last month... even last week?

Some days really do turn up special and untypical events that are easier to remember. Maybe you keep a diary that'll help. But I'll bet even with a diary it'll be hard to get a real feeling of what made any particular day special and different from all the other days. Shouldn't every day be special in some way? How sad if, from a lifetime of experiences, only a relatively few hazy memories survive.

I've been thinking about this problem for some time. Earlier in the year I posted about ephemeral texts and up to August I managed to faithfully archive all the texts I sent and received. But then I got tied up with our local flower & produce show and quickly found myself several hundred texts behind. It seemed a lot of tedious effort to record the occasional special text, surrounded by others that were repeated each week.

One of the blogs I enjoy reading is Mind On Medicine, and the posts on 365 Days in (Mobile) Photos got me thinking. That's it! With mobile phone cameras being so good these days and always accessible what a great way to remember one special moment from each day and describe it.

So that's how the new blog site One Moment Each Day started up. You can access it directly by bookmarking it, or there's a link to it on the right. It'll be updated every day other than when I'm away on holiday. There's the usual touch of humour on most days... but the aim is to pick out something special from every day of my life from now on so I can easily look back on it when I'm too old and doddery to do anything else.

If the idea fires your imagination and you'd like some help on how to set up your own blog to do the same thing leave me a comment on One Moment Each Day or use the Contact Me tab above.

Blackberry jam easy recipe

2011-09-15T15:56:00.000+01:00

What better way to end breakfast than with hot buttered toast and blackberry jam. And with every hedgerow around the countryside just bursting with plump juicy blackberries, why wouldn't you want to make some fruity blackberry jam? The stuff you normally buy struggles to reach 30% or 40% fruit content so this recipe is especially fruity, with 50% blackberry content... good enough to add to icecream or yoghurt as well as toast or scones. So stride forth bravely into the countryside with the kids and gather some goodness!

This recipe makes it easy... no worrying about setting point, no shoving plates in freezers and little time spent standing over a boiling pan. I don't like the pips, so the instructions below include straining the fruit and pips out and adding pectin, a natural fruit product that helps the jam set. If you'd prefer fruit and pips included you might have to adjust the pectin added and boiling time.

(Note: No family members were harmed during the testing of this recipe... whatever they say!)

Equipment needed
Suitable sized pan
Muslin bag
Jam jars with sealable tops
Long handled spoon
Oh, and a cooker hob ~:0)

Ingredients needed
Blackberries, destemmed (18oz/500grams will make about a couple of pounds)
Sugar (same quantity as you have blackberries)
Pectin (available from good supermarkets, see Waitrose)

Method
1. Sterilise the jam jars by filling with diluted Milton liquid and place the jam jar tops in boiling water.

2. Put the washed blackberries in a pan, bring to the boil and simmer until soft (about 5mins).

3. Take off the heat and, having mixed the sugar and appropriate amount of pectin together (follow manufacturers guidelines), stir this into the blackberries until dissolved.

4. Return to heat and moderately boil for about 15mins.

5. Pour into jars through muslin bag and funnel.

6. Seal jars with lids and leave to cool, will thicken over 24hrs.

Some photos from my day's berry picking below, click any to enlarge.

On a warm sunny day the hedgerows were just bursting with fruit. Here's sloes... I'll pick them later in the year for sloe vodka for Christmas 2012.

Colourful rose hips. I've tried making rose hip wine but they're hard work, being hard as bullets.

My favourite blackberry spot... in the middle of the countryside and well away from dogs and traffic.

And here are the objects of my desire... nice and plump with lots more to ripen in the next few weeks.

The end result of one hour's picking... 1.5kg of berries.

Flippin' 'eck... half way down the first jar already!

St Ives Flower & Produce Show 2011

2011-09-12T20:49:00.001+01:00

Second year for the Show, and with a big increase in exhibits and visitors every sign our equivalent of the horticultural show or village show is now a firm event in the town’s calendar.

We had the advantage this year of starting preparation much earlier than the 10 weeks for last year’s Show, though the series of monthly meetings starting back in March still finished up with much frenzied activity in the last few days. But a great team effort, with everyone falling into their natural roles, saw us all go home after shutting up shop about 17:20 on Saturday with a great feeling of satisfaction and exhaustion.

I’m not sure how I managed to stay awake. Having issued the last draft of the table plan to accommodate all 378 entries, and with the response from Andie “… you’re the man with the slide rule, so I trust your calcs” I was up at 03:00 Friday morning in a sweat. What, the man trusts me. Really? Maybe I’d better check it out. So there I was tapping away in the early hours of the morning doing an even more detailed plan that showed the exact position of each exhibit on each display table. Worth doing though… the scale was exactly right and will remove any uncertainty from future Shows.

Then up 06:00 Saturday morning to pick the best raspberries from the allotment, before hurtling back home to prepare the exhibits. Why oh why didn’t I do some of this days ago… tie the onions for instance?

Finally, before getting on with the job of opening the Show with the rest of the team, a live interview at 07:45 with BBC Radio Cambridgeshire as we were gaining entry to the Corn Exchange.

Congratulations go to Mark Bottoms, clearly the Best in Show winner, taking the Preserves & Produce, Flower & Plant and Country Wine & Home Brewing Sections as well. Other Section winners were Robin Bletsoe: Vegetables, Tom Weightman: Photography, Hayley Weightman: Fruit, Melvin Morton: Bakery and Ella Braddock: Children’s Section. More detailed info below as well as lots of images.

One of the highlights for me was Mark’s offer to let me taste his wines… superb, fruity and red! Couldn’t believe my luck when other competitors made the same offer… just as well I’d completed the scoring for the Show by then.

After last year’s quality entry, this year I went for quantity, entering a whopping 26 exhibits. Here’s what I got an award for…

Fancy bread	1st
Pumpkin	1st
Raspberries	1st
Squash or gourd	1st
Tomatoes on the vine	1st
Fancy bread	2nd
Bottle of home brewed beer	2nd
Bottle of sweet white wine	2nd
Parsnips	2nd
Squash or gourd	2nd
Bottle of home brewed beer	3rd
Oddest shaped vegetable	3rd
Oddest shaped vegetable	Highly commended

You can find out more about the Show as follows…

To view a summary of the Show results for all exhibitors click here
A small sample of images from the Show are shown below, click any to enlarge
To view all the images from the Show click here
And if you’re really a glutton for punishment, listen to my live interview with BBC Radio Cambridgeshire by clicking here. And to save you counting, there were a total of 72 ‘erms’ in the interview… all from me unfortunately!

Here are the Best in Show winners, Mark & Colette, with their fantastic set of exhibits.


The night before, with all the tables laid out in the Corn Exchange by 21:00.	Let judging commence! In this case the Preserves & Produce Section.


Judging finished by 12:30, Richard lines everyone up for the official opening to the public, watched carefully by the Town Crier.	The hall fills with visitors admiring the almost 400 exhibits with their results cards displayed.

Technorati Tags: Agricultural Show,Produce Show,Horticultural Show,Village Show

You try carrying 136 hamsters!

2011-09-05T08:24:00.001+01:00

Or to put it another way…

181,437 wasps

5,443,108 ants

Hmmm… maybe that’s not the best way of expressing the effort. Suspect if I was carrying wasps or ants I’d have been up Haystacks a darned sight quicker than the five hours it took! To put the effort more into context how about…

.003 of an elephant

.00015 of a blue whale

Nope, that still doesn’t do it. Sounds like I’d be carrying an elephant’s toenail or a blue whale’s eyelash. Take it from me, carrying 36lbs all 2,000ft up Haystacks in the Lake District is not something to undertake light heartedly… as mate Terry and I did on Tuesday 23-Aug after a ‘light’ lunch of a pint accompanied by a burger and chips from The Fish Inn at Buttermere. Meal pretty average and I should have realised service and civility were an extra charge when half the chips were deposited in my lap and I had to remind the barman I was still waiting for my pint following a barrel change some 10 minutes after serving.

Have in the past pondered about always travelling light, and to drop anything that didn’t fit in my Scaramanga leather satchel. But this was serious and no time for principles. Out came the trusty rucksack, though even it’s reasonable capacity was soon used up with food and water. Hurrah for bungee ropes! More bits and pieces were attached to the outside. The thought did cross my mind… what if, half way up, the whole Heath Robinson contraption fell apart and I was left to carry everything in one hand whilst mountain climbing with the other! And then I knew I might be in trouble when I tried to pick the thing up. Almost fell over with the awkwardness of the weight.

Didn’t help much when Linda, going through her mental checklist of things that just might be helpful, identified I hadn’t included the first aid kit or the map. Pity she didn’t think about matches!

So after my 5 hours plus drive Terry and I sauntered off towards the destination of the Innominate Tarn on top of Haystacks for an overnight camp… a long held wish of Terry’s he revealed after our escapade last year.

The afternoon was warm and excess clothing was soon stripped off as we worked up a good sweat climbing slowly but surely upwards, stopping often to admire the view and recover our breath.

Arrived at the tarn before 18:00 and set up tents followed by a much needed cup of tea. Sunshine and stillness made the tarn surface like a mirror and after a three course meal of a salmon and bean starter, lamb hotpot and artisan bread followed by several helpings of Terry’s 28yr old single malt whisky we retired to our tents about 22:00.

I dropped off immediately, only to wake about 02:00 as the disadvantages of my chosen tent site, with its slight incline, became apparent. Kept finding myself in a heap down one end of the tent floor. Popped out for a pee hoping to see a starlit sky, denied us just before retiring because the sky was still light. Still no luck since there was now cloud cover.

It certainly was dark though… the blackest I’ve ever experienced. With my head torch guiding me I must have been visible to every rabid sheep for miles around… another Pitch Black experience as I desperately tried not to think about the more serious issues raised by the film Black Sheep.

Oh, and it was cold too… this was no time for the silk dressing gown and pyjamas. But in spite of the thick sleeping bag borrowed from Mel plus daytime clothes and fleece, it was decidedly nippy. Maybe didn’t help that I was sleeping straight on the tent floor, no foam cushioning for me! So on went the cagoule as well.

About 03:00 a gentle wind breeze started rolling off the surrounding hills. By 04:00 it was coming down in strong gusts making the tent flap like it was panicking to go home… know the feeling mate! Shortly after the rain fell and I found the tent wasn’t fully waterproof.

Terry slept like a log and I did manage to get a few hours sleep, but from about 05:30 I was fully awake and peering through the tent entrance at the rain falling over the tarn.

By 08:00 Terry had the gas stove going again (thanks goodness he’d brought a gas lighter) and after tea and bacon rolls and everything then packed up we set off back towards Buttermere via a different route with patches of blue sky breaking through the clouds.

We were soaked by the time we arrived back at base, the rain returning when we had about a mile or so to go. A steamy lunch of tomato and chilli soup and a pint at the much more acceptable Bridge Hotel and then back on the road. I stopped off just near Leeds for an hour’s snooze and arrived home at 19:00.

Strangely I seemed to have put on a couple of pounds in spite of the huge effort… been checking ever since to see if there’s a hidden bungee rope still strapping something to my back.

More images of the adventure below. Click any to enlarge.

Under pressure

2011-08-28T08:39:00.001+01:00

Slight shortage of new posts at the moment ‘cause I’ve got my head down beavering away in preparation for The St Ives Flower & Produce Show, held this coming Saturday. So into the last week and it’s all getting a bit fraught as entry forms come rushing through the letterbox and I bang the 300+ entries into the Show database.

The judges’ scores are entered into the database on the morning of the Show and it’s from the database that the Class and Show winners are decided. Oh, and got to print from the database 300+ Show cards to go by the exhibits.

My worst nightmare is that I find a major fault on the morning of the Show and have to do some panicky fixing on the hoof… or even worse if the whole thing falls in a heap and we have to go manual. Worked OK last year but you never know!

So the major task after tomorrow, once the deadline for entries has passed, is to make sure the whole thing works by extensive testing.

But still got lots more entry forms to input. So what am I doing here blogging away? Honestly don’t know… goodbye for now!

Cure for baldness

2011-08-21T08:53:00.001+01:00

It all started with a ‘phone call from grandson Sammy…

Grampy, we’ve just caught the biggest spider ever from behind the settee. Mum and dad won’t go anywhere near it. If you want to join my spidor (sic) club you’ll have to come and hold it.

Does it have hairy legs?

Yes.

Will it fit on my head?

Yes.

Right, I’ll be round your house tomorrow morning and you can put it on my head.

So here I am yesterday morning, peering rather nervously into the spider’s temporary home…

And what a whopper he was…

Sammy helpfully pointed out the large fangs. I said they were just for show, but he assured me it had bitten his dad… the fact Barry was peering nervously at the proceedings from the safety of the bedroom window added weight to this simple statement. And the thought that, having been without food as well as being poked and prodded for two days, Gnasher wouldn’t be in the best of moods, added a certain frisson to the proceedings.

So I was ceremoniously prepared for the ordeal. I had to kneel down so Sammy could place the insect on my pate and to kneel in the sand pit so when the spider dropped to the floor he couldn’t escape up anyone’s trouser leg…

The first attempt was a failure as the spider hung tenaciously to the inside of the can… though from the screams from me and the observers you’d think the spider version of Godzilla had just landed on my skull. Glad I didn’t see this photo at the time, that space into the back of my T-shirt would look all too inviting to a spider on the run…

So back to the drawing board and a smaller pot to use for placing the spider. Here’s the moment when Gnasher finally realised his game was up…

And the most important photo of all, with Gnasher spread-eagled on my skull…

… the screams and general terror were such that daughter Becky was more concerned for her own safety than capturing the moment for posterity and snapped late and wayward, capturing a picture of a foot! But I have multiple witnesses currently undergoing post traumatic stress therapy who can all testify the spider did land on my bald patch.

I’ve still not given up on the kill or cure method jump starting my follicles into action. How long do you think I should give it?

Best kept allotment competition

2011-08-11T08:32:00.001+01:00

Well, the result is out in our allotment competition and... I got a silver gilt award! Pretty pleased with that since it's my first time in the competition and only one down from the prestigious gold award. And does that note at the top of the second image below really mean I just missed top spot?

For the uninitiated it isn't really a competition as such. There aren't any 'winners' or 'losers'. Everyone gets a certificate and an invitation to shake the Mayor's hand at afternoon tea in the gardens of the Norris Museum. But sure as eggs is round consumable products each allotment holder who entered will be gagging to know who got what award.

So here's a bit of detail about how the scoring went and what it looks like I need to do to have a chance of the being awarded the yellow lustre next year.

My total score was 74 out of 90. The scoring bands are...

AWARD	POINTS
Gold	81 to 90
Silver gilt	63 to 80
Silver	48 to 62
Bronze	30 to 47
Commendation	0 to 29

For most items I either scored the maximum or lost one point. I lost most points for...

Evidence of catch cropping... only awarded 1 point out of a possible 5. I had to look up what catch cropping was... raising fast growing crops such as radishes simultaneously or in between main crops. Fair enough, that's easy to sort for next year. We were raising quick growing crops, but in pots in front of the shed.

Evidence of successional planting/sowings... awarded 3 points out of 5. We did have lettuce, radish and carrots growing, but only one lot being raised for each.

Ingenious devices or modes of recycling... awarded 4 points out of 6. Now that's right up my street, thinking up whacky things that might just work. Have to get the thinking cap on for next year... my water storage system of overflowing from one water butt to a other isn't enough in itself.

So if I get, say, 1 point off the maximum for each of the above I'd gain another 5 points, total 79 points. Still 2 points off being awarded a gold. And that's where I suspect the real challenge is for next year, getting those extra 2 points from items where I already scored highly... without losing any points where I scored the maximum.

Oh the agony! All good fun though. I've given myself a reminder for the Christmas holidays to plan what I'm going to do in 2012 to win that gold!

Images below giving more detail on my scores.

Above is first summary of the scores

This is the second summary of the scores.

And the detail behind the second summary.

David Eastwood

2011-08-04T08:00:00.000+01:00

In my garage there’s a special bottle of whisky. It’s the last delivery from my friend David, given me by his family at David’s wake four years ago. David died at the age of 54.

Every year David and his wife would go on holiday to Spain for three or four idyllic weeks of peace and sunshine. With twenty-one dearly loved grandchildren the summer break was doubly earned. On his return there’d be tales of five course evening meals, accompanied by drinks and after dinner liqueurs, all for £5.

Having been away for that length of time and no doubt carrying a few pounds, I’d anticipate my weekly squash battle with David would more certainly go my way. Occasionally it did, more often David return fully refreshed, raring to go, and hammer me off court.

David would return with a car load of booze. Knowing my liking for whisky he’d bring me back a case or two at the princely sum of £3 a bottle. You might not be familiar with the brand, ‘Statesman’. Another type he bought back was ‘Old Keeper’.

Now I used the word ‘special’ in the opening sentence, and special the bottle is to me. And in fact the label has the description ‘Special Quality’. Also says ‘Fully Matured’, ‘Finest Old’. On the rear label it says…

This old Scotch Whisky is produced from only the finest Malt and Grain Whiskies which have been specially selected and matured in oak cask (sic) for a period of 3 years or more. The individual character and taste will be appreciated in particular by those who know and understand Scotch Whisky.

I’ve no doubt every word on the bottle is true. The whisky does have an individual character, best appreciated after a good few sips of a more mainstream brand. The age of my bottle must now be approaching the more commonly acceptable age for a decent whisky of ten years… but there’s a certain rough edge I doubt will be mellowed by the keeping.

But I won’t be having an opening ceremony no matter how desperate I get for a tipple. Gives me too many happy memories of Saturday afternoons down the sports centre, stretched out in the sun after a couple of hours of squash watching a game of cricket, cool beer in hand, discussing the woes of the world and how my friend David and I would put things right if we ever got the chance.

Gardman walk in polytunnel

2011-07-27T07:38:00.001+01:00

Those of you with real staying power, those loyal few who regularly read this blog, will know that I've got the full hand of polytunnels. Way back last year in June I built a 3m wide x 3m high x 10m long fruit cage / polytunnel out of water piping and scaffold netting. That's going really well and has easily withstood the winter weather to be filled this season with raspberries, strawberries, tomatoes and melons.

But this post is to give you an update on the outcome of the April topic on a walk in polytunnel, when I agonised over the decision to part with £82 for a 3m x 2m x 2m Gardman walk in polytunnel. So what follows is a pictorial blow by blow account of the polytunnel construction with a summary of it's likely longevity. Just click on any of the images to enlarge.

So here's the spot I chose to erect the polytunnel. Quite lucky the space between the shed and greenhouse was just right and would give added protection from the wind. Unlucky that I'd only just installed shelves aiming to raise strawberries (bad idea in the end... they don't like an exposed spot). And having the storage bin there was a bit of a problem too... I'd dug it into the ground so it didn't impede the view from the back of the shed... only to find on first use that when the lid was open I couldn't see out anyway! So it would take a lot of shifting. Not a loss overall though since I hadn't been using it fully for some time and stripped down to the frame it would go on to make a good wood store.

Site cleared and ready for action!

Bit concerned the local rodents might have a field day gnawing through the polytunnel walls so decided to use some paving slabs going spare to surround the base from the outside. Sampson the cockerel isn't particularly impressed with progress.

Paving slab surround now completed, let the digging commence! Decided it would be best to do the heavy duty digging before putting up the polytunnel. Knowing my luck I'd put a spade through the wall otherwise.

Digging finished. After this stage I put in two level raised beds and hammered in levelled wooden pegs on which to rest and tie down the polytunnel frame.

The frame and cover were easy to put up. Once installed I put loads of wood chip into the cavity between the polytunnel and the paving slabs.

On both sides there's just enough room for me to squeeze through if I need to.

After finishing off with wood chip down the middle of the raised beds, the first plants go in... cucumber and squash.

A few weeks later, having kept the zipped front closed to keep the warmth in, plants are growing well. Started to keep the front open to enable pollinating insects to do their job.

Now virtually having to beat the gourds back with a stick to get in the polytunnel.

Tomatoes bursting forth.

Squash flower.

One of the types of gourds I'm growing for the first time.

Another type of gourd getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger! Since you can't eat gourds, wonder what I'm going to use them for? Here's some samples of gourd art. Amazing, eh?

A developing snake gourd, from which you can make a didgeridoo and craft other works of art.

But there are early signs of wear... partly my own fault! When putting up the polytunnel frame make sure you put bolts in so the bolt heads are showing outwards from the frame. It's not so obvious since the easy way is to screw the bolts in the highest part of the frame from the inside out. But this leaves the bolt ends sticking out into the polytunnel cover. I've temporarily compensated for this by covering the bolts with thick cardboard and will repair when I take the cover off in winter... although I am intending to grow lettuce over the winter months so not sure when that'll happen.

My dad

2011-07-18T07:41:00.001+01:00

'The lights of Atholl Palace burned bright at night just like a fairy castle'.

And so we found ourselves, close members of the McKinnie family, sat down for afternoon tea at the Atholl Palace Hotel, the location my dad viewed so magically when he first saw it, a lad aged 5 or 6 years old from a tenement in the east end of Glasgow in the midst of the 1930s Great Depression.

I love being with family back home in Scone... it happens all too infrequently. And although the reason for this visit was a sad one, following my dad passing away on Friday 08-July, I know he would have enjoyed seeing his sons and daughters, grandchildren, great grandchildren, wider family and friends all together. Also really satisfying to see how Becky, Beth and John got on so well with all their Scottish cousins. Just a pity David's broken leg meant he couldn't travel.

It was all arranged in a bit of a hurry, made more difficult by the fact that 20,000 Jehovah's Witnesses had descended on Perth for their annual get together. Bed and breakfast vacancies were rarer than hens' teeth. So we stayed at the Murrayshall House Hotel, on the hillside overlooking Scone.

On Thursday evening we found just about the whole family round at mum's giving her support. Dad's drink cabinet is a bit of a legend within the family... everyone knew he had a fair collection hidden away but the joke was no one ever saw more than one bottle at a time. So as the padlock was broken open ~;0) it was no surprise to release some quite exotic liquors into the light of day as all drank to his memory.

The Friday ceremony was of course sombre. A service at St John's RC Church in Perth before a quiet Scots piper led ceremony at Fonab cemetery in Pitlochry. We left Dad in the shadow of Ben Vrackie in the location he so loved to have an afternoon meal at the Atholl Palace Hotel.

On Friday evening we found all the male members of the McKinnie family (excepting David) at Scone Bowling Club furiously attempting to outdo each other at 50p a time dominoes. Lots of banter and general bonhomie, particularly when brother Andy chose a vulnerable time to pop to the loo... just about to start a game, the worst possible hand was selected for him, four dominoes full of sixes and fives. We all had loads of fun watching him innocently trying to play the hand as best he could.

We had a great family weekend, saddened by the fact my dad couldn't be there to enjoy it. Hopefully the eulogy I gave in church did him justice... I've shown it below to give a better idea who my dad was, along with some photos of the weekend.

Today my brother Andy and his son Michael were hoping to climb Ben Vrackie to put some of the earth from dad's grave on the summit and to bring a stone back from the top to go on dad's grave, but unfortunately they'll have to leave it to later since the weather beat them.

There's so many good things to say about my dad, but he asked for his eulogy to be kept short so I'm going to speak about a couple of things I know were really close to his heart.
The first is his love of Pitlochry. This afternoon he'll be heading off to his resting place in the cemetery there. Pitlochry is a lovely place and I knew he liked it, so much so that he bought two houses in view of Ben Vrackie. But clearly his love of Pitlochry was far more deep rooted than many of us realised.
Dad first went to Pitlochry when he was about five or six. His dad, John Sylvester McKinnie, was a stoker on the railways. It was a tough job, the main function being to shovel coal into the engine furnace to keep the steam train barrelling along. One of the perks was an entitlement to free rail tickets and the family started travelling by train each year to Pitlochry for their annual holiday.
Now, viewed from the comfort of the 21st century there seems nothing remarkable about that. But dad was a kid from a tenement in the East End of Glasgow, a Glasgow severely hit by the 1930s Great Depression. His dad had a good job but the family were surrounded by unemployment and deep deprivation. So an annual holiday in the countryside would have been something to cherish.
Not your typical bed and breakfast though... Aunty Kate's cottage was where they stayed in the first few years, on a hillside overlooking Pitlochry, with running water provided from the burn outside. The lights of Atholl Palace burned bright at night just like a fairy castle (dad's words) and Ben Vrackie loomed over a village that even then fairly bustled with visitors brought by the railway.
So it's no wonder dad loved enjoying the sparkling Highland air and wide open spaces with his family. He loved it so much that as a lad he returned year after year, even cycling the 60+ miles to be there in his summer holidays.
And his love of family holidays continued when he had his own brood of five. I remember train rides to Fleetwood in Lancashire, farm holidays in the Lake District. I have a picture at my bedside from one of these trips... of my mum, brothers and sisters all smiling and looking very smart, dad behind the camera lining us all up. Lunch would be banana sandwiches in the back of the car, mum furiously buttering for all she was worth to keep up with the phenomenal consumption.
One year dad managed to borrow a caravan and decided this was to be a full-on first towing experience... he was taking mum and us five kids from one end of the country to the other, all the way from Scotland to Cornwall. I remember as night set in running out of petrol just yards from the overnight camp site, having to hop out at Cirencester to retrieve a stray hubcap, of the car wheezing up hills with a queue behind. The car did a lot more wheezing and stopping on the way back home because of dirt in the fuel pipes, but we had a fabulous family holiday, one of many.
And that was dad's second great love, that for his family. He liked nothing better than to be with his family, with his sisters, with mum to be amongst us sons and daughters, grandchildren and great grandchildren, with all of us laughing and joking, telling stories, reminiscing on old times.
Dad lives on in all 22 of us... through our mannerisms, our way of speaking, our optimism and can do attitude. Even in his two great grandsons Connor and Sammy he's there, both left handed like dad, both of whom peer back at me with dad's pale blue eyes.
He'd love seeing us all here today, together for him and mum.
Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate Dad's life.

A small selection of the family gathered on Thursday evening to support mum and investigate dad's drink cabinet.

An early session of 50p a time dominoes, and brother Andy (in the background) makes the fatal mistake of nipping out to the loo.

The second session of dominoes and all is still general bonhomie.

Brother Bob awards me the triple pot to much dissatisfaction all round. I'm the handsome one on the right of the photo, desperately trying to get the money out of Bob's grasp.

The view from just above dad's resting place showing Ben Vrachie, the Atholl Palace and looking towards Aunty Kate's cottage.

Sunset view from Scone looking towards Pitlochry.

Apple wine easy recipe

2011-07-04T19:57:00.000+01:00

My apple wine is a bit of a legend in our family. And I reckon it's the major reason why I'm currently thrashing my sons at the weekly session of darts and pool down at The Legion.

Mind you, it's a delicate balance. The right amount with Sunday tea beforehand and the cycle down, matches and wobble back through the quiet lanes of St Ives go like a dream and I return triumphant, making it one of the best possible evening's entertainment. A little too much and the wobble starts in the middle of the matches, I don't stand a chance and it's anyone's guess where I'll end up on the cycle ride home.

So here's the recipe. No chemicals are used, just all natural ingredients other than Milton baby liquid to sterilise equipment.

I started making this wine for two reasons... firstly its a shame so many apples go to waste in Autumn, and secondly because I was fed up trying to find wine in the shops that didn't have the 'contains sulphites' message hidden away on the back label. Sulphites can cause allergies and a headache.

Every autumn there's an excess of free apples from friends or gathered in the wild. With a bit of organisation, very little effort and a small investment you can make yourself enough sweet white wine to last the whole year. Not sure where to get enough apples? If you don't have any friends desperate to give you their excess have a look around the countryside. Often there are trees along roadsides or footpaths where you can gather the apples for free.

The instructions below are to make five gallons of wine, which will give you just under thirty bottles. It's simpler to make large batches of wine since it's easier to bottle without disturbing the sediment.

The cost of equipment is pretty low... about £35 if you acquire the wine bottles by saving from bought white wine. Thereafter your only cost is for sugar, raisins, lemons and some wine yeast... so having made the initial investment in equipment, typically you're enjoying rather nice, strong wine with no sulphite content for well under 50p a bottle! Why wouldn't you want to do it?

Equipment needed

One 5 gallon plastic fermentation barrel with lid
Something for stirring the contents
Milton baby sterilising liquid
Large strainer
Long clear plastic tubing (available from DIY stores)
Funnel
One 5 gallon plastic demijohn
Rubber bung and airlock
30 wine bottles (ideally clear glass)
30 stoppers

Ingredients needed

Enough healthy apples to fill the 5 gallon barrel... its best if you can get a mix of cooking and eating apples
Wine yeast
8kg of sugar (adjust this depending on how sweet you like your wine)
1kg chopped golden raisins
The juice of 9 lemons
Small cup of black tea

Method

1. Sterilise the fermentation barrel and lid using the Milton liquid.

2. Wash the apples and quarter, place in fermentation barrel until almost full, discarding any bruised bits.

3. Fill with boiling water. It doesn't take all that much since the barrel is so full of apples.

4. Put the lid on and leave for a few days, stirring twice daily.

5. After a few days the apple juice will have seeped out into the water. Strain out the apples and you're left with the apple liquor.

6. Add the sugar, raisins, lemon juice and tea.

7. Top up with part cold, part hot water (so the temperature of the water is lukewarm) to make up to five gallons and stir to ensure all the sugar is dissolved.

8. Add the wine yeast, stir, cover with lid and store somewhere warm.

9. After a few hours you'll notice something starting to happen... there'll be a froth on the surface as the yeast starts to ferment, turning the sugar into alcohol. Stir the contents twice a day.

10. It will take a couple of weeks or so for the fermentation to finish. Once completed transfer the liquid to the demijohn using the plastic tubing and funnel. Make sure all the equipment has been sterilised with Milton liquid.

11. Avoiding disturbing any sediment, place the fermentation barrel at a higher level than the demijohn (e.g. put the barrel on a table and the demijohn on the floor), put one end of the plastic tubing in the barrel, and having placed the funnel in the neck of the demijohn give the other end of the tubing a strong suck to pull some of the wine in the tube up and over the edge of the barrel. Quickly remove your mouth and put the tube end into the funnel. The wine should start to drain.

11. Avoid transferring any sediment if you can. Once all the clear liquid is in the demijohn top up with water to bring to five gallons. Seal with the rubber bung and airlock, having put a small amount of diluted Milton liquid in the airlock.

12. You can now store the wine for months somewhere cool and frost free. At first the fermentation may start up again and you'll see bubbles going through the airlock. Gradually the wine will clear.

13. Once fully clear repeat the draining process, this time from the demijohn to sterilised wine bottles. Put a stopper in each bottle and store.

14. The wine will be ready to drink but will improve even more with age. Typically I bottle and start drinking the wine from May onwards. If the wine is too strong dilute with water.

Making gates

2011-06-21T07:10:00.000+01:00

I'm not quite sure what's come over me recently, but in the space of a week or so I've been knocking up gates left, right and centre on the allotment, accompanied by the odd fence here and there. Suddenly the whole plot looks much more business like... but in my usual inept fashion I've also been knocking lumps off myself in the process.

It all started with a replacement for the makeshift barrier I'd been using for going on two years to keep the chickens off the front plot, where all the salad vegetables are grown. The barrier was about five feet high, made from triple layer polycarbonate and although heavy did the job. But with wife Linda taking an increased interest in the allotment it's days were numbered. Too awkward and not pleasant to look at.

So in went gate number one... actually the second gate on the allotment, the first being the allotment entrance installed by ace carpenter son in law Chris when I first took the plot. And since he knows what he's doing my first attempt was based on his design. Rather pleased with the result as shown above.

Since the chickens are allowed to wander the back plot when we're there some more protection was needed for the area planted with potatoes and winter squash. So in went my gate number two, accompanied by surrounding fence. This one a bit more functional, not quite as design conscious, see result at the foot of this post

Another area we'd been chasing the chickens off was the rhubarb and fruit bush section, including the entrance to the large polytunnel. Gate number three thus installed with a small amount of fencing. Although fully functional you can probably see my gate patience was starting to wear a bit thin at this stage. One of the posts didn't go in quite straight and I hadn't the energy to pull it back out and start again.

The whole exercise took a bit of a downturn when I smacked my left hand index finger with the sledgehammer whilst hammering in a post. We're talking about a serious bit of kit here, the type you can hardly lift with one hand and certainly not try and swing with one hand while the other is holding the post. I can assure you of that in hindsight... one almighty one handed swing missed the post, but not quite by enough to miss the knuckle of the index finger holding the sledgehammer. Result: a sudden intense pain as the skin from the top of my knuckle was ripped off.

Having dropped the sledgehammer like a hot coal (it's a miracle I didn't thus also break my foot) an examination of the wound showed what appeared to be knuckle bone. Bit of a mistake on my part to give it such close scrutiny... immediately started to feel woozie and wobbly and aided by Linda (who, since only being a titch, was in danger of being flattened by me) managed to stagger to a chair before everything blacked out. I came to some minutes later to the anxious gazes of Linda and surrounding allotment neighbours.

I have to admit to a history of passing out in similar fashion at the most inappropriate of times. Some years ago when daughter Beth was about four I took her into casualty to have a cut on her eyebrow sewed up. Since she was so young the doctor thought the best idea would be to wrap her in a blanket and for me to hold her on the bed while he applied the cross stitch. Before he'd even got the needle going I'd gone all wobbly and was suddenly getting more attention than my daughter as all the medical staff attempted to catch me before I collapsed on the floor.

Anyway, back to the latest debacle. The finger has healed up but is somewhat misshapen with a loss of feeling. I suspect I fractured something but the knuckle moves ok without any pain so I'm soldiering on. If it drops off might get a bit worried.

So the final gate, to give me access off the back plot to the larger and less used water tank at the rear, went in somewhat more hastily and with less design consideration (as well as less need for the sledgehammer). It's more than a little wonky and just (only just) slides into place but it does the job.

All this effort is timely... at the end of the month it's judging for the St Ives in Bloom allotment competition, the first time I've entered. If I do get a decent award Linda will no doubt get all the credit since she's really taken an interest in the allotment over the last year. And I suppose that's actually quite fair... there's been more progress made in the last twelve months than the whole of the previous six years put together.

Off on holiday for a few days to Scone, Scotland on Thursday so the next post may not be for a week or so. And the new mobile phone's arrived (HTC Wildfire) so I've got some major fiddling to do!

My second gate protecting the spuds

Fencing around the spuds

My third gate... now suffering serious gate fatigue

The bit of fencing that nearly finished me off

The finger a few days after the sledgehammer adjustment

Oh, sod it... the final gate goes in as quick as possible

Chris' gate, which all mine are based on... hope my attempts are still looking as good six years on!

Walking the dog

2011-06-14T18:14:00.001+01:00

It's been a bit of a struggle over recent weeks to post a blog, ever since son David broke his leg. One of the consequences has been a commitment to walk his two year old Jack Russell terrier, Jazz (or Jasmine as I've nicknamed him), twice a day. Bang goes up to two hours a day of valuable creative time.

I'm not a fan of slobbering hairy beings... not since the sons left home and even then only at arms length. So I viewed taking on the commitment with some distaste. But there was no other alternative and I couldn't bear to think of the dog being enclosed indoors all day with David... I wouldn't wish that on anything (only joking Dave ~:0). Neither did I want David to risk his leg healing by trying to exercise Jazz.

I guess Jazz wasn't too sure about me either when we started. Our first attempts didn't get any further than about 100 metres, with Jazz stopping every few inches to turn and look at the point where David would appear if he had just got delayed and would be with us any minute. It would take us half an hour to get that far, 5 seconds to get back.

In spite of my reticence I've gradually warmed to the task. There are still a few low points. I'm finding myself reporting Jasmine's bowel movements to David after every trip, and tending towards the Eastern way of eating with one hand only... the other's currently reserved for the operation of the poop bag. I did think I'd cracked it by using the latest technology, a plastic scoop handle that you put inside the bag to gather the offending items. Unfortunately it looks like Jazz's pooing habit wasn't part of the field trials.

He will insist on hopping in a circle as he makes his deposits so they're never one scoop or next to each other. Since the accompanying bags are quite small there were a number of technical hiccoughs with the first attempts which have caused me to go back to the dog bag equivalent of the stone axe. Oh, and one of the early things I learned when using supermarket plastic bags... make sure there are no holes in the bottom of the bag!

He seems to have a bottomless pit bladder wise, directing a stream of pee at every single lamp post and tree... It doesn't even have to be a tree at times, a small twig in the ground is sufficient for him to get the hose pipe going.

The other major low point is Jasmine's insistence on going for any dog within a mile radius of him, the bigger the better. As soon as he sees another canine he goes into a frenzy, teeth bared, throat snarling and using every ounce of his strength to get at his opponent. David says Jazz is fine with other dogs and 'may just give them a bit of a nip'. Maybe he knows another meaning of 'a nip', something like 'to grab by the throat and savage to death'. Either way I'm not keen to find out in practice.

So I've got into the habit of peering around corners to ensure a rotweiller isn't approaching. And I've got to know St Ives much better as, seeing a dog in the distance coming our way, I head up the nearest alternative route. I am trying to train Jazz out of the habit and can hold his attention with a treat long enough for the other dog to pass by unnoticed. Helps if there's a bus in between. It is a bit of a puzzle since a tiny tiny dog ran up behind without him knowing and when it touched his bum he jumped a mile. Maybe he's just nervous of other dogs.

But the old tune 'I've grown accustomed to his face' comes to mind (though since most of the time he's in front of me straining at the leash its not actually his face that's visible) as over the weeks I've got used to all the good points of walking a dog. Slavish devotion, the enjoyment he gets from me chasing him, how at times it seems his nose is permanently stuck to the ground, the way one of his hind legs will give a skip when he's happy. And just how uproariously, mindblowingly, ecstatically happy he is to see me.

One more major benefit... Jazz has helped grandson Sammy overcome his fear of dogs. Up to recently he was petrified of them and would scrabble up your leg until sitting atop your head at the first hint of a mutt. It was partly because any decent sized dog came eyeball to eyeball with him, but probably the depths were plumbed when a dog stole his sausage.

It's a bit of an understatement to say Sammy loves his sausages. When he understands about reincarnation I'll lay money on it Sammy will hope to come back as a pork banger. I always thought it a bit ironic that one of the most popular types of his favourite food was called after his biggest fear... hot dog. But one day, when he was sitting in a park with the object of his culinary love placed firmly in his hand, a huge dog came up blindside and wolfed his banger down. You can imagine his reaction when he turned round to see what the wet feeling was, only to be confronted by a hugh set of teeth wrapped around his sausage. It's a wonder he didn't need therapy.

But he's really warmed to Jasmine and they're now an item on the morning walk down to school. On holiday last week Sammy was patting everything in sight. For that alone the commitment has been worthwhile.

Saving David from risking the healing process to his leg has been a bit of a laugh, considering he's been biking it down to the pub some distance away and cycling Jazz put for occasional exercise across country. Still, I suppose I'd be driven mental too if I had to spend six weeks in a cast. It's coming off in just over a week... I hope!

More photos and video clips of Jasmine below.

Jazz dutifully waits for me to arrive about 18:00 each day...

Suddenly hears a noise outside & thinks I've arrived...

Stops for a rest mid walk...

Sometimes I get the feeling he's taking me for a walk...

Though this is the more frequent view I get as Jazz ponders life, the universe and everything...

Waiting for his best friend Sammy...

His tail's lost it's spring! Jazz definitely doesn't like the sound of the hosepipe...

Allotment security

2011-06-06T07:16:00.001+01:00

Here’s some allotment security advice, since if you have an allotment it's a fact of life sooner or later you'll suffer at the hands of thieves or vandals. Even if you're lucky enough to have your site surrounded by high secure fencing that's no guarantee. So here are some things you can do to minimise the risk.

Keep vigilant

Serious thieves like to case the joint, so take note if you see a stranger wandering about the allotment site. You can hardly go up and accuse them… but finding a reason to walk near and then engage them in conversation may just be enough to convince the thief there’s a risk of you giving the Police a reasonable identification.

With children, often the cause of vandalism, it’s more difficult to take action if only because they’re so flippin’ cheeky! But you have a right to ask them what they’re doing on the allotments. Try engaging them in conversation to see if there’s anything of common interest that might be enough to avoid any wanton damage.

Of course you shouldn’t put yourself at risk, but if you’re suspicious report it to the Police.

Report every single incident to the Police

It’s true that, given the lack of witnesses, there’s little chance of finding the offenders. That shouldn’t put you off giving the Police details and getting a crime number every time something happens. That includes if you see something or someone looking suspicious. There may be a pattern that gives the Police a better chance of catching the offenders.

After a while all these reported but unsolved crimes accumulate on the Police records… and the Chief Constable doesn’t like lots of unsolved crimes. Makes the performance figures look bad. So your allotment problem will be noticed.

If you have enough incidents the Police will allocate a major crime number. Let all your allotment colleagues know to mention that number when they call the Police so all the records are linked to your site.

For our allotments at Hill Rise in St Ives, Cambridgeshire…

The number to call for the Police is 0345 456 456 4

The major crime number to quote is CF-0232680551

Set up an allotment watch scheme

This scheme supports improved co-ordination between plot holders, the Police and the local Council. It also encourages plot holders to help themselves by following the advice above.

Keep the site entrance secure

You might be lucky enough to have a fence around the site, but all too often it’s the site access gate that’s the weak point. It only takes one instance of travellers gaining access and setting up caravans on the site to make everyone realise how lax things can become.

Plot holders think they’re helping the next colleague to gain access by leaving the gate open… if so it’s only a matter of time before someone leaves it open overnight in error.

If a combination lock is used to secure the gate plot holders can leave the clasp undone or leave the combination on the access code. Unfortunately they may be helping the thieves as well.

An Englishman's shed is his castle, but...

... unfortunately few sheds are built that robustly, so don't leave anything of value behind. When considering shed security there are two extremes as follows…

The Fort Knox approach
The natural inclination is to put a lock on your shed door. Unfortunately that signals to thieves you've something worth protecting. So if you are going to secure your shed make sure the lock is a good quality close shackle padlock that's hard to lever or cut. But the lock is only as good as what it's attached to and most shed doors and frames are pretty insubstantial. Door hinges and clasps should be secured with threaded coach bolts and back plates or large back washers.

If you have a window either board it over if you don't need the light or fit wire mesh or bars. If the window needs to open you'll need a similar level protection as for the door. Growing prickly plants such as berberis or holly around windows will help deter intruders.

Battery operated shed alarms are available and your local Police may have them available at a discounted price. A large notice on your door stating no items of value are kept in the shed may help.

Cast an eye over your shed to check for any other vulnerable areas. If the walls are made from flimsy wood overlap you may want to consider lining the inside with plywood sheeting.

All that may seem way over the top, but anything less will mean your door is likely to be ripped open or the window smashed and the thieves gaining access. A bit frustrating if you really do have nothing worth stealing and the damage to your shed is the only loss!

The Laissez-Faire approach
The other extreme is not to put any security on your shed at all. Leave the door unlocked so if thieves want to check they can see you've got nothing worth stealing. Even better, make sure they have a good view through any windows so they don't even need to go in. A notice on the door to say there's nothing of value in the shed and therefore the door is unlocked might help.

This is the ‘security’ I use and in six years of having my shed I've never had anything stolen. I know trespassers have been in my shed occasionally and I did have a spade put through one window… and that's the risk with this approach. Although you might not suffer damage from thieves you are at risk from vandals.

Protecting equipment

You can mark all tools and equipment with your postcode or with Smartwater, which the Police can probably supply at a discount. Alternatively chain and lock all your stuff together or attached to a heavy concrete weight. But it’s far far better not to keep anything of value on your allotment.

Now where did those string beans go?

Unfortunately down the throat of the opportunist who, wandering past your plot when all was quiet, took a fancy to them. It’s sooooo frustrating to bring your produce to the peak of perfection only to find it stolen.

The only thing you can do is place high growing vegetables such as peas and beans near the front of the plot to partially screen what else is growing. Thieves are after an easy get away and may not want to be caught right in the middle of your plot.

Technorati Tags: allotment security,allotment theft,allotment vandalism,vegetable theft,gardening tools theft

They say sons never leave home...

2011-05-20T07:46:00.001+01:00

... Well, I've got a new theme on that. I go to their house and do the tidying up!

Fair enough with David. Having a dislocated ankle and broken leg does warrant a bit of TLC. So I was happy to give his place a good seeing to before he got out of hospital, leg in plaster.

John has flown off to Tenerife for a week's holiday with Emma. There was some doubt whether he'd actually get on the plane but all seemed calm when I dropped them off at Stansted Monday morning. As I drove back some of his parting words echoed through my mind. No, not 'I'll really miss you dad", or since in his mind he was probably taking a fast jet to oblivion "Thanks for everything you've done for me". Attached to "Thanks for the lift" were the words that resonated... "I've left you a little bit of washing up, can't leave it til I get back since it'll be all green."

So the image above is what greeted me the following day in his kitchen. Think he owes me!

More images below. And yes, that really is burnt on fat from chicken breasts and scalded milk in the pan. Think the arrangement of hat and gloves by the front door is particularly twee. And that's industrial strength air fresher in the loo... no surprise there.

Off for a week in a caravan in Hunstanton tomorrow, sans iPad, so it'll be a week or so to the next post.

Another few days disappear

2011-05-16T21:00:00.001+01:00

The regularity with which minutes or hours flash by has increased markedly since I retired a few weeks ago. But whole days? Well at least there's a good reason for the last few days going into a black hole.

It started on Wednesday evening about 22:30. I'd been dropping off for about an hour or so beforehand but finally decided it was time to head for the hills when I got a call on my mobile from son David. "Dad, I've got a bit of a problem, can you help? I've fallen over while taking Jazz (his Jack Russell terrier) for a walk and I might have broken something."

Now when David says he's taken Jazz for a walk you'd better believe it. They'll go cross country for miles together and doing it in the dark appears to be no problem. He said he was on a footpath somewhere behind the gravel pits half way towards Huntingdon, not somewhere I'm particularly familiar with. So off I went in the car to get near the general area. More 'phone calls and several abortive drives down narrow public footpaths later and I finally found the one he was on... as I slowly negotiated the narrow and bumpy route and rounded a corner there was Jazz peering towards me, sitting guard over David who was laid on his side.

It was pretty obvious something was seriously wrong since he was in a lot of pain and could hardly stand on his good foot. So I manoeuvre him into the front seat of the car, we dropped Jazz off at his home and headed up to casualty where he was diagnosed with a compound fracture of the fibula and a dislocated ankle. Slapped in a plaster cast and told to come back for an operation at 08:00 that day... by now it was 02:00 Thursday.

On our return we sat in the hospital from 08:00 to 14:00 before being told we'd have to come back Friday since there were no free slots in the emergency theatre list. Had the first pleasure of taking Jazz out for a walk... spent 30 minutes getting 30 metres away from his front door with Jazz's nose pointed 99% of the time in the direction David would come from if he was catching us up. Getting back to the front door took 3 seconds. Boy, does that dog love his master!

Back again Fri 08:00 and David was taken into theatre at 13:30. He was kept in over the weekend and came out this evening with his leg in plaster for at least four weeks. Jazz and I are now best friends and have managed to extend our walks to over an hour each time. Gets a bit wobbly when he sees a dog bigger than himself... he'd have a go at anything if he was off his lead. But I'm sure I can train him out of that over the next few weeks.

And the photo? It being a family trait to find humour in adversity (particularly if it's not you suffering) I was desperate to get a shot of David in his wheelchair. Not surprisingly he was a bit camera shy so I got a shot of the transport while he popped into the toilet. See below for an image of his legs... think the arrow was put there by the nurse to confirm right way up.

Sadly no squash for at least three months so I'm down the gym tomorrow for some running machine time. No pitch and putt for a while and we're going to have to see how he copes on the pool table down The Legion.

First iPad experiences

2011-05-11T08:32:00.000+01:00

Anyone remotely familiar with this blog will have picked up that I'd finally taken the plunge after months of admiring the Apple iPad since it first came out early in 2010. But it was never an easy decision. Even when the launch of the new slimmer, faster iPad 2 coincided with my small win on the Premium Bonds and the magic words from Linda... 'I suppose you'll be getting that iPad then?', I still agonised over whether to stump up the £500+ for the kit I'd need.

Yes, the iPad itself (in 32gb mode) is under £400, but then there's the Smartcover, the camera/SD card connector, the apps... Oh yes, and the latest bit of kit, a Just Mobile alupen. Was it just another toy? Although it had been out for over a year, with tablet PCs just taking off was there a price to pay as an early adopter? Would one of the other models being launched be a better option?

And most importantly... could I easily blog from an iPad? Lots of adverse comments about this... until Blogsy was launched. That's what swung it for me.

So how has it gone? You'll gather from the fact there's been no post for a week or so that it's been a bit of a tussle. I only started to use Blogsy on Monday, having struggled with a whole set of other challenges first as follows...

Setting up the iPad was a breeze. Started up no problem, charged up OK, connected to my WiFi easily. So getting up and running was a piece of cake, and using the iPad is a dream. Always on so no hanging around and no frustrating and mysterious delays, unbelievably thin and smart, much more intuitive to use with a brilliant display.

Then came the selection of apps... and a Microsoft Office equivalent was reasonably pressing since I had some minutes to do for the Allotment Association. Went for Quickoffice at £8.99 (what a refreshing difference to Microsoft's price of from £60 to £400 with no free updates!) since could import and export files in Microsoft format and was about half the cost of Apple's own equivalents. Not sure if I've made the right choice... word processor is pretty basic and having read about the spreadsheet struggling to import reasonable sized Excel files, my first attempt with a file hit a problem I've not yet had time to delve into.

Further apps followed to give me what I need at present... Brushes for artwork, Notes Plus for a more comprehensive note taking app than the one supplied for free from Apple, Accounts for personal finance management... oh,and of course Angry Birds to keep the grandchildren (and me) amused. Only one I think I'm missing is a combined calendar and task list... might use the calendar supplied with the iPad since it looks attractive, though it doesn't lend itself easily to listing tasks.

The biggest problem I've found is the difficulty of archiving files. Apple make it very easy to do this for photos and music, but to safely store other files is a bit of a struggle. Upload buttons on web sites such as Windows Live Sky Drive or Picasa don't work on the iPad. Although you can connect an SD card using the camera connection kit you can only back up photos and music. My solution has been to set up a special Hotmail email address for anything I want to archive. At least once a week I'll hook up the iPad to my laptop to back up apps and check for updates. At the same time I'll access the archive emails and store them on Sky Drive. That enables me to then download those files onto the iPad when I need to update them.

And then there's the general pain of getting used to a different operating system. For example, using a Windows system to email a file you go into your email program and attach the file. Not using an iPad. There's no way to attach a file in the email app. You have to go to the file's app and drag the file onto the email icon, or open the file and use the send option.

Am I at last on top of things? Not quite... I've yet to see if I can post this entry in the blog as something that looks half decent. Blogsy works differently than what I'm used to and it's certainly no Windows LiveWriter. There's no WYSIWYG functionality and what help it gives you is pretty basic. Want a table... you're into HTML coding to do that. So I'm going to have to spend more time fiddling about in HTML to get the look I want.

Oh, and I've yet to transfer my appointments and tasks from my mobile 'phone ('cause I'm fed up of the alarm on the mobile regularly going off) and get all my contacts transferred.

It's proving to be a long hard slog... hopefully worth it in the end 'cause it is a beautiful bit of kit.

I’m at home today…

2011-05-03T08:43:00.001+01:00

… and not moving a muscle. Been up since 06:00… not unusual other than I was awake from about 04:00. By way of compensation to Linda I’ve committed myself to a number of small jobs around the house. Clean the windows, pot up the patio plants we bought yesterday, cook some Italian peasant bread etc etc.

Me staying at home at any time, particularly when the sun is shining, is nothing short of a miracle. What’s the cause of this strange behaviour? Just a short few words…

Yes, the Apple iPad 2 is due to be delivered today! So one of three things is going to happen…

It’ll arrive early, say 09:00, and having committed myself to all these small jobs I’ll have to suffer the agony of a quick fumble before honouring my promises.
It’ll arrive late, say 18:00, leaving me hardly any time at all before sons David and John arrive for their weekly home roast dinner and film. That’ll mean I won’t know any more about the iPad than they do, giving them full authority to pile in with lots of advice on how I should be using it.
It’ll arrive about midday after I’ve finished all the jobs and won’t be able to resist a snooze in the afternoon sunshine. The UPS delivery man will feebly knock on the front door and, receiving no reply, will return the precious package back to base leaving a card to tell me of my misfortune. Knowing that I’ve caused an unnecessary delay in getting my hands on the iPad will drive me bonkers!

Oh, the agony and the ecstasy! But all going well the next blog post should be from the iPad via Blogsy.

True tales - ‘The Purse’

2011-04-28T07:30:00.001+01:00

In the early ‘70s I worked as a meter reader for PG&E in San Mateo. I was one of only three women in the department. Once a month I would go to a neighbourhood in Redwood City. The people who lived there were mostly elderly Italian couples, widows and widowers, and when they died their children would fix up the houses and rent them out. You could usually tell by the front yards. The flowers and tomato plants would be replaced by easy to care for lawns.

That was where Joe lived, in a small bungalow on the last block of my route. He had a large front yard and a beautiful well tended garden at the back.

Every month I would read the gas meter in the front and then knock so Joe could let me walk through the house and go to the electric meter out the back. He was a plump little man with once-black hair that was almost all grey now, and smiling dark eyes, and from the beginning he had insisted that I call him Joe. He was probably in his seventies and was always at home and apparently lived by himself. He would open the door and say with an Italian accent “Good morning! Good morning!” no matter what time of day. “Come in! Come in! Come! Come! Come!” Joe would always remain in the house until I had finished reading the meter. Afterwards we would walk through the garden and he would give me fruit or vegetables to take home with me, whatever was in season.

The electric meter was on the house above an old picnic table that had been pushed up against the wall under the shade of a large grapevine. On the table, near the edge, was an old purse. It was the type of purse an old lady would own; it had a hard curved shell covered with dark brown leather that was scuffed and worn. The clasp was the type that pinched shut and was tarnished and discoloured from years of use. At first I wondered where she was… the owner of the purse… was she ill? Or maybe this was to test me, to see if I was honest. Eventually I stopped questioning its presence. I would stand next to the bench in front of the purse and read the meter, but I was always aware of it… solid and unmovable. Once I almost touched it.

One August day about two years after I started coming to his house the weather was unusually warm. By the time I knocked on Joe’s door I was dehydrated and suffering from the heat. We walked through to the patio and he insisted I sat down on the bench by the picnic table. As I sat there looking at the purse I heard him say in a soft trembling voice “We were going shopping… she put the purse down… she needed to sit for a minute… I couldn’t touch it after… I can’t move it.” When I looked up at him he turned away and walked quickly into the house. When he came back outside his eyes were smiling and he proudly handed me a large bag of tomatoes and zucchinis and a Fanta orange soda.

I thought about the purse a lot over the next month and was anxious to see Joe again. When I finally arrived at his house in September I notice immediately that something wasn’t quite right. His garden was yellowed and there were rotting vegetables on the ground. Thinking he might be ill I ran to the door and knocked loudly. A slim man with Joe’s eyes, but they weren’t smiling, opened the door. I said “Where’s Joe!”

He stared speechlessly at the girl with the long blond hair dressed in a man’s uniform. Unsure what to say next I told him I was there to read the meters. He turned to another man and asked him to open the side gate for me, a route I’d never taken before. I walked quickly through the gate to the back of the house and around the giant grapevine up to the picnic table. The man stood near me and waited. I stared at the meter and wrote some number down in my book. When I was finished I walked past the man without saying a word. I left the yard and closed the gate behind me.

The purse was gone.

Barbara Hudin
Bend, Oregan

From 'True Tales of American Life'
Compiled by Paul Auster

Not one of my finest moments…

2011-04-25T08:11:00.001+01:00

A working life as a project manager and call centre planning specialist have taught me to do detail and to keep a note of important information. That’s been emphasised by many early failed construction attempts on the allotment that have forced me to plan ahead. But my natural tendency is to skim over things and hope for the best. I’m the eternal optimist… things always work out for the best won’t they?

So when fixing up to go to the Cambridge Arts Theatre last Friday to see their production of The Haunting I briefly perused the bus timetables to check all was OK. We like to amble in by bus and Linda’s words of warning echoed in my ears… ‘It’s a Good Friday bank holiday, shouldn’t you check the buses are running?

Normally it’s not worth checking the timetable since there’s a bus at least every 15 minutes. But I did the checking anyway… in my own fashion. I noted Stagecoach were running a Sunday service and their timetable indicated some early morning buses only ran Monday to Friday. So no problem.

Off we set just after 14:00 on the 15 minute walk to the nearest bus stop. The show didn’t start until 19:45 but we planned to enjoy a walk around Cambridge in the sunshine and a snack at our favourite eating place, the Cafe on the Round.

On arriving at the bus stop my wife, who does have an eye for detail but doesn’t use a PC, eagerly eyeballed what timetable details were displayed. She noted we’d just missed a Whippet bus at 14:15 and their next bus wouldn’t be along for another two hours. Stagecoach helpfully displayed all their services other than for Sundays on a timetable some two years old.

A slight feeling of unease started to well up in my breast.

After a while I suggested we walk to the next stop. Further up the route there was a bus stop with radio display showing the next few buses due. We decided to walk down the route since this would be heading towards St Ives bus station where we might have to end up. Between stops I nervously eyed back up the road to check a bus wasn’t trying to creep up on us and whizz past. That’s happened before… we once missed two buses while walking to the next stop. No chance of that happening this time… not a bus in sight!

It was a hot day and after three stops and with no radio display in sight we piled into the bus shelter to await our fate. The aluminium seat was scorching and the plastic shelter caught the sun and built up an oven temperature in a most effective way. Not the only thing heating up, as Linda reflected on my inability to do anything right.

We did spot a bus… a Whippet 1A service to Cambridge, unfortunately on it’s way back from our destination heading towards Huntingdon. Was that a look of disbelief and sympathy on the driver’s face as he stared in our direction?

Our hopes rose when we saw a frail old couple wobbling towards us. Surely they wouldn’t have the strength to walk into town… they must be heading for the bus stop knowing a bus is due shortly! But as they came abreast they mysteriously picked up renewed strength and headed onwards with confidence, past us and the bus stop.

One hour on and with no sign of a bus on our side of the road I helpfully suggested we wait until about 15:15, the logic being that surely the Stagecoach bus wouldn't run at the same times as the Whippet bus… if they synchronised with each other and with the Whippet buses running at 14:15 and 16:15 the most obvious time for the Stagecoach bus to arrive would be about 15:15.

I had renewed certainty in my theory as a group of drunks attached themselves to one end of the bus stop. They certainly were waiting for a bus, but no use asking them about the next arrival they were so far gone. Fresh optimism when a much more distinguished gentleman arrived. He thought Whippet buses ran every hour… at least they did a few weeks ago. We pointed him to the timetable showing the next Whippet bus wasn’t due for another hour. After a while he decided to walk to his destination in town.

We’d had enough by then and decided to retrace our steps back up the route in a general direction of home and to go as far as the stop further up the route I knew had a radio display. Before we got there the Whippet 1A service and the driver with the sad face reappeared, this time heading towards Cambridge. Hurrah! But on asking when the last bus back was, a time of 22:00 didn’t seem helpful. The last show we went to didn’t finish until about 22:20 and we didn’t want to be stranded.

In the end I drove us to Cambridge over two hours after we’d set off on foot. Linda isn’t the best traveller but fortunately the A14 was quiet. A pleasant amble from the free parking in Barton Road, along the hidden paths from Clare Road, around the College playing fields and onwards to Silver Street, soothed troubled nerves and the play was very enjoyable.

The play ended at 21:40. It might have been helpful if I’d checked that when booking the tickets. We could have caught the last bus back!

Three weeks into retirement… am I forgetting the importance of detail again?

Ten top tips to chuckling chicks

2011-04-23T08:12:00.001+01:00

So you want to keep chickens? Another hamster’s made a desperate bid for freedom and is lost somewhere in the house, the budgies have fallen off their perches for the final time and you’ve tried dogs and cats (unfortunately at the same time, hence their untimely demise). The kids think they’ve got a hot line to pet heaven and you’re after something a bit more resilient and productive. Welcome to the whacky world of winged wonders!

Keeping chickens as pets is great fun. They have very definite personalities, children love them and you get a free supply of superb eggs to boot! So here’s an easy guide to why you should keep chickens (or hens or cockerels), how to look after chickens and keep them healthy.

A bit of history before we start the guide. The chicken is actually a mini dinosaur… chickens have similar origins to the dinosaurs and originated in the foothills of the Himalayas in South East Asia. They were first domesticated around 7000BC, originally used for religious sacrifice, cockfighting and as an alarm clock.

It’s thought the Egyptians were the first to breed for eggs and the most prolific of layers will produce an egg most days. Considering the amount of energy it takes that’s nothing short of a miracle. All chickens are descendants from the wild form called red jungle fowl (Gallus gallus), a bird that still runs wild in most of southeast Asia.

Here’s a guide on how to take on and keep your chickens chuckling. Have fun!

1. What’s the commitment?

Your chickens will live about 4 to 5 years, so although you’re not going to grow old together you are taking on some responsibilities.

When going on holiday, assuming you’re not taking the chickens with you, you’ll have to arrange for someone to stock up food and water, collect eggs and check all is OK.

If you’re keeping the girls in your back garden you should consider where to keep them… chickens love to scratch around and taste interesting looking green things so if you give them free range they’ll also scoff everything that looks mildly tasty and scratch up things in general. Best if you can give them their own part of the garden as a run where they can dust bathe, search for titbits the other girls have missed and generally do chicken type things. A caged run can be moved around the garden, which means no more grass cutting… but it’s not the most caring way to keep your chickens.

If they’re on an allotment you’ll definitely need a well protected chicken run with two metre high chicken wire fencing, the bottom dug into the ground. You’re going to have to pop up several times a week to replenish things, clean out and check all is OK. That includes winter when it’s freezing cold. If you work during the day winter visits may well be in total darkness.

2. How much does it cost?

More details on the kit you need below, but cost can range from next to nothing to £100s.

If you’re keeping chickens in your back garden, can get your hands on bits of spare wood for free and can handle an electric drill without maiming yourself the only cost is a few screws, a bit of chicken wire and some effort. Even the chickens can be had for next to nothing if you’re happy to rescue a few ex-battery hens from a fate of occupying the inside of a cat food tin.

Alternatively you can go for the designer method by buying stylish equipment to complement your back garden and purchasing interesting breeds… and taking out a second mortgage on the home in the process.

See more info below and useful links.

3. Equipment

As a minimum you’ll need a des res for the girls to safely rest at night. This should include boxes for laying eggs. Additional considerations are…

A chicken run, which means posts and chicken wire plus entrance. You need to give your gorgeous girls enough room to roam about in. Ideally the run will allow two chickens at least 50 square metres, more if possible. If kept in a back garden with a restricted run allow them out as often as you can to have a scratch around and a dust bathe, so long as you’re not too precious about the results. Chickens love looking for titbits so if keeping in a restricted area wood chips are a good flooring to use.
Make sure the bottom of the chicken wire is dug well into the ground to deter foxes. Dig as deep as possible, but more importantly lay the bottom part of the wire level with the surface running out from the fence, so the bottom is in an L shape.
Somewhere shady and sheltered for the chickens to rest during the day if it’s hot and sunny or wet and windy… often chicken coops are built on legs for this purpose.
Water container, preferably enough for a couple of days at least.
Food container, again to hold at least a couple of days supply and to be secure from birds and rodents… I made my own economy version rat proof chicken feeder that works very well.
A bin to keep food supplies secure.

Here are a few photos of my set up…

If money is no object try an Eglu from Omlet… very stylish but will set you back several hundred pounds. Alternatively try the also very stylish and less costly recycled plastic models at Green Frog Designs.

4. Beauty parade

So it’s time to choose the girls… what to look for?

Some breeds are easier to handle and less temperamental than others, worth considering if you’re hoping your children will want to take care of the chickens, feed them by hand and pick them up. The rate of egg production varies between breeds, with the most prolific likely to lay an egg most days. Check how generally healthy the stock of chickens appears. And finally the looks… do you want the archetypical chicken or something more exotic?

Best idea is to find a reliable and established local supplier by asking a few people who keep chickens where’s best to go. The breeder needs to be reliable to ensure the chicks have had all the required vaccinations. If you’re at a bit of a loss pop up to your local allotments and ask around. Once you’ve chosen a supplier see what chickens are for sale, ask a few questions, and consult a list of chicken breeds.

You’re after point of lay (POL) pullets… that is young hens about 4 or 5 months old who are just about to start laying. That means you’ll get a full life of laying and you know you’re buying hens. If you buy cockerels by mistake you’ll have a long wait for that first egg!

Don’t be tempted to go down the ‘cute’ path by buying fertilised eggs or chicks… unless you know what you’re doing and are prepared to have 50% cockerels.

The final option is to rescue ex-battery hens, typically one year old birds. They’ll look a bit the worse for wear when you get them and may behave a bit strangely at first… so would you if the only world you knew was a cage the size of an A3 sheet of paper shared with six other hens, never having seen daylight. They may also stop laying for a few weeks while they get used to their new surroundings. But for all their initial appearance they are not unhealthy… just unfit and in need of time to adjust. Typically ex-battery hens are docile and will live anything from three years to much longer. Do get advice from a reputable supplier on what to expect and their special initial needs such as feed.

And the cost? Ex-battery hens can be bought for a small donation. At the other end of the scale more exotic birds can cost £50 or more. Expect to typically pay £10 to £20 for the more popular breeds.

Being offered a cockerel? The cost will be much lower but check out the section below.

5. Routine care

The basics are to ensure there’s enough food and water. Don’t underestimate the latter… make sure enough is supplied for hot summer days, and on cold winter days the water supply may be frozen over.

Additionally you need to ensure your flock is secure. Although a pet crocodile might be the exception, other pets such as dogs and cats normally get used to the chickens being around without too much trouble. You will need to ensure your chickens are protected against foxes.

Collect the eggs regularly to stop a chicken getting broody and to make sure they don’t get damaged.

The odd treat is nice. Mine get mixed grain and hurtle across the plot if they hear the shake of a plastic bag that just might contain cooked spaghetti… use the dried type that doesn’t include egg.

Remove any droppings from the nesting boxes daily if you can, and clean out the chicken coop weekly. Chicken droppings are great for the compost heap, having just about the highest nitrogen content of any recyclable pet waste.

Give your birds a weekly health check… just watch to check they’re all performing normally and none are scratching or appear a bit docile for example. See the section on common problems below.

6. Handling

It’s best to handle your chickens regularly right from when the start so they get use to you. To pick up a chicken use two hands to take hold on both sides where the wings are, lift her up and hold against your side with one hand underneath, fingers placed either side of her legs.

If your chicken is a bit nervous keep your hand or arm over her outside wing, the inside wing being against your side. Holding your chicken at an angle so she’s partially on her side can help calm her down.

Don’t chase your beauties around… it’s not a good idea to grab tails or wings. The result of this is a nervous chicken who may be put off laying. To catch a flighty bird manoeuvre her into a corner and take hold from there. Alternatively by catching her unawares and coming in from above her natural tendency will be to squat down on the ground making it easy to take hold.

7. Egg production

You don’t need a cockerel for eggs to be produced… chickens will do this regardless.

If all is going well you’ll receive an eggy present most days from each chicken. The rate of production will decrease as the girls get older or in winter. Lack of water, being given a fright or moulting can also mean slower laying. If you’re missing a few eggs it might also be worth checking if one of the chickens has found somewhere else in the garden to lay, or if rodents are helping themselves.

Less eggs may mean a health problem… check out the section below.

8. Raising chicks

You can use an incubator to raise chicks but it’ll cost a lot of money and time… and mother hens know how to do it best.

Something’s happening when one of the girls goes broody… you may at first think you’re one down until you realise the missing chicken is sat in one of the nesting boxes, bum planted firmly on a batch of eggs. If you don’t want this to happen see the section below on common problems.

Mum-to-be will sit on the eggs for 21 days. When they hatch it’s best to separate mum and chicks from the rest of the crowd for a couple of weeks.

New born chicks have their own internal food supply that’ll last about 3 days, but you should start to offer high protein chick starter feed from the beginning. Make sure mum isn’t scoffing it all… if this happens separate the chicks feed off in an area only they can get to.

Make sure any water provided isn’t too deep, otherwise a chick might drown.

Leave the chicks with their mother for 6 to 8 weeks, and from 6 weeks onwards feed the newbies growers meal.

And before you start the whole process see the next section about cockerels.

9. Cockerel considerations… or don’t call me Shirley

If you are interested in raising chicks first consider what you’re going to do with the cockerels. Each batch of eggs will contain about 50% cockerels… and if you ever get an egg from a cockerel please let Guinness World Records know.

So let’s confront an obvious option. Most of us will be in the category of eating chicken so long as it’s nicely packaged. If you intend to raise the cockerels (or for that matter chickens) to eat…

Believe me, it’s really hard to serve up Clarissa on a bed of potatoes for Sunday lunch… the whole family will probably never speak to you again if you do. But don’t be squeamish about eating your own birds. They taste miles better than anything you can get in the supermarket. Ask around other chicken keepers, particularly on the local allotment, for help on how to dispatch a bird heading for the oven. It does take some skill to do it humanely.

I have a cockerel, Sampson, given to me free otherwise he was heading for the chop. He’s funny… he’ll find a titbit such as a juicy worm and then, rather than scoff it himself, will make a special call to let the girls know he’s found something for them. He’ll then sit back and watch while his girls dash across to be the first to the treat. I find his crow restful and supposedly he keeps the girls better behaved with less squabbling. If you do have a cockerel there’s no difference to the eggs if you keep taking them promptly.

10. Common problems

Chickens are generally healthy and problem free, probably one of the least troublesome pets to keep. The only general routine is to check once a week that all appear healthy and to worm your chickens once every 6 months… the treatment is available from your vets, pretty low cost and easy to apply.

Generally you’re more likely to have trouble if you keep a large number of birds or don’t give your girls the attention they deserve. The information below is about the most common problems, but if you suspect a bird is unwell or suffering from parasites there’s a more detailed guide at Urban Chicken.

Here are some of the things you’re most likely to encounter…

Brooding
If you don’t want a chicken sitting on eggs you’ll find it a struggle to persuade her since all her hormones are saying it’s the right thing to do. I’ve found the best solution is to make up a box with a small gauge chicken wire floor and keep her in there for a few days. The airflow supposedly cools her underside and cures the problem. It’s being cruel to be kind since otherwise she’ll sit in the nesting box for 3 weeks… after 4 or 5 days in the brood box she’s cured. Make sure food and water left in the box are on a secure base so she doesn’t accidentally tip them over.

Escape from Alcatraz
Occasionally you might get a bird determined to fly over the chicken run wall. You can stop this by clipping her wings. Trim her primary feathers on one wing as shown below. This does not hurt the bird in any way.

Pecking order
There’s a very definite order of ascendency in a flock and there’ll sometimes be one timid soul who’s picked on by the others. Is there enough room in the run? Providing plenty of distraction can help in the form of a cabbage hung up to peck, things to perch on and anything else they can explore. If there’s one particular hen that’s doing the bullying remove her to a separate run for a week or so.

New kid on the block
If you have to introduce a new chicken to the brood it’s best to keep her separate but close for a few days until each have made their acquaintance. Nevertheless she’s still going to have a tough time initially… the phrase ‘pecking order’ very definitely comes from chickens and she’ll have to fight for her place over the first week or so.

Moulting
Once a year each chicken will lose it’s feathers and grow new ones. Normally this doesn’t mean she goes completely bald… the feathers are lost over 4 to 6 weeks. During this time she’ll stop laying, and if unlucky enough to pick winter time to moult she’ll be a bit fed up. High protein feed is available to help with the extra energy taken up producing a new look. Never clip the bird’s wings while moulting.

Rodents
If you leave chicken feed freely available you may attract rats, mice or wild birds so use a container that keeps the feed secure, such as my DIY rat proof chicken feeder. If you have a rat problem they may also steal eggs. Collect the eggs promptly.

Encouraging wild birds to share your chicken space is not a great idea since they can carry infections.

Colds and runny noses
Generally not serious and just needs a bit of TLC.

Curtains
Sooner or later one of your girls is going to move on to pet heaven to join the massed ranks of hamsters, budgies, dogs and cats you’ve already despatched there. If you have a chicken in distress and can’t diagnose the problem do take her to the vet. If not treatable the vet will send her gently to sleep and dispose of her for a small cost.

If a bird pegs it unexpectedly, say through old age, you can put her in a plastic bag and pop her in the refuse bin. Alternatively you could bury her in a favourite spot and make a shrine as I did here…

Never eat a chicken who’s passed on.

Hope you enjoy your chickens!

Can’t see the wood for the wood

2011-04-16T08:17:00.001+01:00

This is my favourite shed picture. Fortunately it’s not my shed… mine’s a masterpiece of DIY and rummaged wood constructed over the spring 2007. And miraculously it’s still standing!

But the need to tidy up things in preparation for the new hothouse polytunnel, in particular the moving of my contingency wood store, got me thinking about the general tendency for plot holders to have bits of wood stored for a rainy day.

Many of our allotment site plots have a stash of wood. Most of it never moves. I guess it reflects the natural inclination to maintain things for free and the origins of the allotment movement… and if an attractive bit of wood becomes ‘available’ it’s best to save it. Sure as anything if you don’t the very next day something will drop off the shed that needed exactly the bit of wood you so dismissively rejected.

Having just about constructed everything you could ever want on an allotment plot and with my building days almost over I’m not quite as skip alert as I used to be. There wasn’t a skip in town I hadn’t scanned. And driving past one was an interesting experience. One eye on the road, t’other on the skip… yes, I know I should have used those bottle stop glasses more. Scrounging off builders for a six pack of beer, badgering my carpenter son in law, cruising the local industrial estate. If it didn’t move and looked ownerless it was mine! Saved a wad load of money in the process though.

(Actually, I can’t believe I’ve just written that bit about building days being almost over… half way through putting up the hot house polytunnel and with a verandah on the front of the shed to come! Who am I kidding?)

Back to the source of my pondering… my not inconsiderable store of really useful bits of wood that I just know will one day be really useful. Here’s how it’s been stored up to now, mostly stacked against one corner of the shed in the law of configuration stating the bit of wood you need is always deepest in the pile, wedge most tightly, always the most difficult to extract. Recognise the problem? That’s probably why plot holders’ wood never moves, it’s impossible to get anything useful out… enter the wood store!

The storage bin shown… the one that weighs a ton, that I dug down into the ground so it wouldn’t restrict my view from the shed, which meant it was full of water much of the time and fully restricted my view anyway whenever I opened it, the bin whose top was so heavy you were at risk of decapitation whenever you reached into it if you accidentally dislodged the fixing sticks … you get the general idea I don’t exactly love this bin… well it just might make a brilliant wood store, thought I.

And here’s most of the wood now stored in the stripped out carcass of the storage bin. What a result! Any bit of wood is now easily extractable and the whole thing looks much more professional. To say I’m pleased with myself is a bit of an understatement… maybe I’ll stop grinning sometime next Tuesday.

The hothouse polytunnel is steaming ahead… hopefully a big update in the next week or so.

And I’ve finally succumbed and put in my order for the new Apple iPad. It was always going to happen in spite of my earlier post on why I wasn’t going to buy one yet. Was holding back ‘cause there was no sensible blogging app, but that’s all changed with Blogsy. Been reading also about some great apps really useful for the allotment, such as Garden Planner HD. Can easily get lost for hours browsing the thousands of apps available. Am I excited about it? You bet I am! With it’s always-on capabilities and general ‘oh my goodness’ design I think it’s going to change the way I surf and blog from one of frequent Microsoft related frustration to one of pure pleasure. And I can’t wait to see the fun the grandchildren will get using it. Only problem is it doesn’t get shipped until 02-May… ooooooh the agony of waiting!

More photos below.

The heart of RAC Insurance beats again

2011-04-07T07:57:00.001+01:00

The pulse might have been a feint one… nothing to do with the fact that three of us are now retired… but the heart of RAC Insurance definitely beat again yesterday afternoon as old times were recalled.

Here we are enjoying the sun on the patio of The Anchor (click image to enlarge). Terry Bacon (far right) and I, serial reunionists, got together for our annual pub crawl around the more interesting watering holes of London, joined for the first time by Nigel Harcourt (middle left) and Kevin Hilditch (middle right). We’re looking pretty happy at this point as the two previous pints at The Market Porter and The George Inn start to take effect.

There followed an amble across Southwark Bridge, past St Paul’s Cathedral and quickly straight past the first two pubs in Fleet Street we were supposed to visit. So the next stop was Ye Olde Cock Tavern, followed by Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese and finally Ye Olde Mitre Tavern. You’ll gather from the names that the list targeted the oldest pubs in London.

Time flew at such a rate we’d only visited half the intended pubs and it was time to consider tea… a trip back to Kings Cross and a hurried meal at Nando's before Terry rushed off for his 20:00 train back to Darlington, followed shortly afterwards by the rest of us for trains to Huntingdon and Hitchin.

As always on these events conversation meandered over a wide and enjoyable range of topics. Nigel tried to convince us he’d fulfilled his ambition to be recognised by some (any?) old City acquaintances when he took up conversation with a complete stranger on the very first tube ride. Terry graciously retrieved my top when I unknowingly dropped it, only to find later he’d lost his cap about the same time… we’d had a few by then. And although the only one still gainfully employed, Kevin had us all envious of his idyllic job as head gardener at The Swiss Garden.

It was great to see old work colleagues again… mates you’d worked through some challenging times with and come out the other side still laughing together.

Here’s a few links and photos of interest to RAC Insurance colleagues…

RAC Insurance Hitchin facebook entry

RAC Insurance Stretford facebook entry

Walk in polytunnel

2011-04-04T08:24:00.001+01:00

Oh dear… what have I done????? Wandered into Huntingdon Garden & Leisure to have a look at the replacement polytunnel covers intending to build my own frame… and came out with a large box containing this, a Gardman walk in polytunnel. How did that happen?

On the previous visit I’d fancied the walk in greenhouse but on line reviews didn’t score it highly… the plastic joints seem to break in a breeze. Hmmm… I could build my own more stable polytunnel frame with spare water/gas piping on the plot and the purchase of some doweling.

But after hovering inside the polytunnel on display and with a few encouraging noises from Linda it was a done deal. £129.99, less my HRAA 10% discount, less my £35 retirement vouchers = £82. The replacement cover cost £60 so seemed a bargain. But when manhandling a box onto the trolley noticed they were reduced to £99! No HRAA discount on sale items, but the cost now down to £64!

That has to be a steal for a 3m long x 2m wide x 1.9m high polytunnel which opens both ends and has two mesh windows. Early lettuce, summer chillies and peppers, my first attempt at gourds and other heat loving plants will hopefully thrive.

The frame looks pretty strong, all tubular steel bolted together. But I’ll hammer some posts in at each corner and attach the frame to give added strength. Probably put a large post at the back and attach the end roof section to it. Oh, and will have to put a wooden border around the outside to exclude next door’s family of rats. The strawberry shelves will have to move in front of the existing greenhouse and the large wooden storage bin at the back of the shed that I don’t use any more will have to go. Dig over and prepare the earth before putting the polytunnel up. It’ll extend quite a bit out from the current greenhouse so will have to consider how that effects access.

And all at the very time when I’m under pressure to get things potted up and seeds planted out! Well, can’t hang around here blogging away. Got things to do and the sun’s shining!

I’ll update this post regularly to record polytunnel progress and success rate.

Is that unused space I see before me?

2011-04-02T08:48:00.001+01:00

Well, here I am again with too many bright ideas, preparing for yet another construction project! ‘What on earth can it be this time?’ I hear you cry, given that I’ve now got the full ensemble of shed, greenhouse, polytunnel, chicken run, compost bins, pond and tree house for the grandchildren.

Hold on to that bit about greenhouse… yes I’ve got a greenhouse, but have I got a hothouse? By that I mean a greenhouse that allows planting of vegetables directly into the ground so you can grow lettuce early in the year and raise peppers, cucumbers and gourds in the summer. It’s a great success for the Italians on our allotment site and I fancy some of that.

As ever, the thought process is a bit tortuous and sparks of ideas meandered through the sludge that masquerades as my brain something like this…

Got some metal shelving for free from a neighbour of a friend, what shall I use them for?
I could get my strawberries up off the ground by growing them on the shelves like I’ve seen at some commercial growers
That unused space beside the greenhouse would be perfect
What am I going to spend my retirement garden vouchers on?
That walk in greenhouse is good value
I could switch seed growing into a walk in greenhouse and use the existing glass greenhouse as a hothouse
Would a walk in greenhouse survive a windy day on the allotment site?
I could build my own much stronger walk in structure from water/gas piping and wooden dowels similar but smaller in scale to the polytunnel
If I built to the same size as the Gardman walk in greenhouse I saw for £130 I could buy the Gardman replacement cover for about £60
Where am I going to put the strawberry shelves… how about in front of the glass greenhouse?
Why don’t I use the walk in greenhouse as the hothouse since I’ve already got staging in the glass greenhouse that’ll only fit in there?

Here’s some photos taken during the brain strain (click to enlarge)…

Haven’t mentioned the pond for a while. Fear not! It’s not because the whole thing has turned out a failure, anything but. Spotted the first pond skater the other day, I’ve got the world’s supply of tadpoles thriving and the pond lily and other plants are doing well. Bit early for dragonflies but I’m sure there’s going to be loads.

So here’s a couple of pictures of the pond…

… and here’s a video of the tadpoles.

And finally here’s a few allotment and family related snaps.

True tales - ‘The Chicken’

2011-04-01T02:48:00.000+01:00

As I was walking down Stanton Street early one Sunday morning I saw a chicken a few yards ahead of me. I was walking faster than the chicken so I gradually caught up. By the time we approached Eighteenth Avenue I was close behind.

The chicken turned south on Eighteenth. At the fourth house along it turned in at the walk, hopped up the front steps and rapped sharply on the metal storm door with its beak. After a moment the door opened and the chicken went in.

Linda Elegant
Portland, Oregan

From 'True Tales of American Life'
Compiled by Paul Auster

Autumn already?

2011-03-31T09:14:00.001+01:00

There must have been previous signs of the onset of senility and old age. Thinking about it the posts on Forgetful, about tactics to explain away forgetfulness in Did I Just Miss July?, and the strange interest in face furniture in In Praise of Interesting Facial Hair all seem to have a certain pension book status.

When you catch me weighing up the differing merits of various mobility scooters please take me out and shoot me. Not that I dislike them, I’m sure they give wonderful independence to those who might otherwise be stuck at home all day. I’m just worried I’ll end up like this pensioner who, having popped out to buy his daily newspaper, took a wrong turning and found himself on the motorway crawling along at 8 miles per hour. With me it would be everyone else’s fault.

What’s brought about this musing on old age? Well, I retired from work on Tuesday. Effectively I’ve entered the autumn period of my life… childhood being spring, early adulthood being summer, late adulthood being autumn and finally old age being winter. So I should be enjoying the fruits of my labour, having raised a family and worked non stop for over forty years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m lucky enough financially to retire at 59 yrs and able to enjoy the fascination of seeing my children as adults with all the interest in their activities that brings, and with the bonus of four grandchildren whose company I really enjoy and who are endlessly amazing. But did pensioner status have to come on so quickly?

I’d resolved some time ago on my first day of retirement to go on a really long country walk… from Paxton Pits up along The Ouse to Buckden Marina and then back across country, in the process taking pictures to add the walk to one of my other blogs, Cambridgeshire Walks. It’s about eight miles and three or more hours walk. Even had a practice on a very frosty December morning by doing the Kings Ripton circular walk. So how come I found myself instead spitting feathers at Tesco Barhill?

The sunshine I’d ordered was out of stock and with wall to wall grey thought I’d go and have a look at the new Apple iPad2 to reassess my previous post on Why I Won't Be Buying An Apple iPad... Yet. I’d emailed Tesco over the previous weekend to check when they’d have the item on display so I could have a fiddle… rather helpfully the previous model had been displayed including internet access so customers could have a good try. And the helpfulness theme continued when Tesco promptly left a voicemail message saying the iPad would be in stock on Wednesday 30-March.

Might be in stock, but will they have it out on display? I know, I’ll give the store a call and ask them! Four calls over a two hour period and I was no nearer an answer… couldn’t get me through to the electrical department, must be busy with customers (before 10:00 on a Wednesday???). Didn’t totally waste the time, got a fresh forty pint batch of home brew beer going.

Took a chance and drove the six miles to the store… to find the two staff in the electrical department having a chat some distance away from the service desk. Of course! No wonder they couldn’t answer the ‘phone, much more interesting things to do! And when they uttered the words ‘no, the iPad stock hasn’t arrived and we don’t know when it will’ I had to turn away from them quickly since words were spilling from my lips I wouldn’t want my children to hear. Noticed a security guard appeared shortly afterwards… hope it wasn’t to do with me!

So I’ve banged off an complaint email to Tesco (update… they responded offering a £5 money card to compensate for the wasted journey)… but see what I mean? Just reading what I’ve written above and the fact I now seem to have got into a routine of writing complaint emails shows definite Victor Meldrew tendencies.

And don’t ask me what day of the week of the week it is. It’s Wednesday, right? Thursday? Are you sure? What happened to Wednesday. For that matter what happened to last week???

Had a wonderful send off from all my workmates at the Call Centre and a lovely lunch with the managers and team leaders sitting out on the patio at The Dolphin Hotel. Great fun seeing the chocoholic frenzy as advisors searched for the treasure I’d hidden around the Call Centre room on the previous Saturday… here they are below desperately seeking a chocolate aero bar hidden under the desk.

My manager Michelle gave a nice speech part of which was reminiscing on my various faux pas over the previous six years. Here’s a little note she gave me as a reminder against repeating the car handbrake incident described in Forgetful.

Got gifts of whisky and garden gift vouchers. Apparently the word had gone out via daughter Beth (who used to work at the Call Centre) to my wife asking what I might like… answer, an incinerator! Incinerator??? That more reflects Linda’s dislike of my passion for lighting fires. Comes from childhood when I’d arrive home to the immortal words from my mum ‘Come here and let me smell if you’ve been lighting fires again!’… closely followed by the words ‘Get up those stairs to bed’.

And because I have an urge to record everything for posterity, here’s what I replied to Michelle’s speech with…

I’ve been pretty relaxed over the weeks since I knew I was going to retire but must admit to getting a little wobbly as the day’s approached. I feel I should be completing a holiday request form, late as usual, for Michelle to sign… start date tomorrow, end date blank. But I have been preparing for this date by reducing my working days from three down to two days a week. I’m grateful to Michelle for allowing me to do that.

I’ve got to warn you I might go a bit emotional on the next bit and shed a tear. You probably think that on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays I’m off enjoying myself. I’ve actually been spending hours sitting by the telephone waiting, nay, willing it to ring and to hear those magic words on the other end of the line

‘Hi John, it’s Ced. Can you help me with a problem on a spreadsheet?’

And how many times has Ced had to call? Not once! He’s more likely to call and ask what the weather was like yesterday. But it does make it easier to shuffle off into retirement knowing there’s someone so capable to take my place. Best of luck Ced!

I’ve worked without a break for over forty years and this has been my most enjoyable job. And how could it not be, with such a capable and professional management team to work with, such an understanding boss in Michelle, and a unique bunch of workmates, so bright, enthusiastic and funny. If speed was measured in smiles per hour this would be the fastest workplace in history.

Many thanks for the gifts. I hope I get an invite to the summer barbeque and whenever you’re short of a player for rounders.

I am going to miss them all greatly ~:0(


Allotment rent increases	Allotment security

History of allotments	How to get an allotment

Our allotment site scaled plan	Our Autumn 2011 newsletter


Apple wine easy recipe	Blackberry jam easy recipe

Italian rosemary peasant bread	Sloe gin or vodka easy recipe